Thursday, 21 March 2019

Metasode 3: How We Are Not Critics And What We're Going To Do About It - Part One



Welcome, welcome, friends, and thank you for stopping by.

You find the Kids from the 80s in reflective mood, for, hark, 'tis another Metasode, i.e. not an episode but, rather, a show ABOUT the show. We like to keep our navel gazing compartmentalized away from the main strand. This is so you can skip it if you only came here for the show and not to hear us waffle on about what we're planning or thinking about the show itself.

On this occasion, however, we would urge you ON NO ACCOUNT SKIP THIS EPISODE, or its companion, due out at some point after all the fuss about Europe has died down in Leo's neck of the woods. For, you see, we come to begin contemplating the very nature of the show itself in this two parter.

As we begin we lament the lack of interaction we have with listeners. We opine that maybe our content production focus should change to accomodate a new form of 80s kids content. Nostalgia for the 80s is fine and all, but as we have discovered, it doesn't appear to draw people in. So, we've considered what we might like our audience to be, as we have no idea. In this show we outline our plan for the content for the rest of the year in "vague mode". In part two we will inform you of the menu of delights that will form up the remainder of the content for 2019.

In the meanwhile, why not check out our social media page on facebook, if you haven't already. Interim updates will be coming via that medium for the time being. If you get involved it might even chivvy Leo and Ian into action and get that sweet, sweet content piped to your earholes even sooner.

This episode uses excerpts of Prazdniny (Vacation) by John Bartmann


Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/M003HowWeReNotCriticsPartOne/M-003-How-We_re-Not-Critics-Part-One.mp3

Thursday, 7 March 2019

Episode 129: The Superheroes Win Again - Summer Predictions 2019



We are the 80s Kids and we predict the future.

It's that time again. Summer is upon us, has been since early Feb according to the studios, and the Kids have to play their game of picking the Box Office winners from the various genres as well as pointing out the notable losers and just generally giving everyone a heads up on the major players coming out this summer.

The lack of major global sporting events leads to a less "doughnutty" distribution schedule this year. There's a steady stream of interesting items on the way. Even so, there's some curve balls and obvious bad ideas that things are still interesting. Hollywood has not, as yet, cracked the "good enough" level where every movie released is obviously going to appeal to someone.

So, let's do a quick reconnoitre of the upcoming Summer and see what else is out apart from that Avengers movie, a Fast and Furious spin off and a thousand Disney "live action" remakes.


Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/129SuperheroesWinAgainSummerPredictions2019/129-Superheroes-Win-Again-Summer-Predictions-2019.mp3

Thursday, 22 November 2018

Episode 128: Star Wars Is Screwed



Has it come to this? The 80s Kids have never done a Star Wars show before, and now they are doing one it's one about this... and things were looking so good a couple of years back. Round about the time of Rogue One the future of the galaxy far, far away (or the past as it was, a long time ago) looked rosy, the new owners of Lucasfilm were feeling their way into their new acquisition and appeared to be making many of the right noises.

A couple of movies later and it's all gone to pot, however. How could it all have gone so wrong? And is there anything to be done to fix matters?

The 80s Kids pull on their blancmange resistant shoes and wade into the mire of poor decision making and awkward problem-solving that has resulted in Star Wars being a thing that Star Wars fans are feeling it hard to care about any more. Oh, the misery! Oh, the sadness! Internet message boards are still full of posts that say: "Discovery doesn't feel like Star Trek but I'm watching it anyway" but equally are they full of "Star Wars still exists but I am finding it hard to give a crap". When we recorded Star Trek is Screwed little did we know that it's flashier cinematic rival would soon be in worse shape.

Let's send 80s Kids Season 3 into its slumber until Christmas with a consideration of how the whole business just appears to have gone, well, totally Jar Jar.

This episode uses Excerpts of John Bartmann's My Time Done Come, available on Bandcamp and used under a Creative Commons License


Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/305StarWarsIsScrewed/3-05-Star-Wars-is-Screwed.mp3

Thursday, 15 November 2018

Episode 127: Conan The Footloose and The Iron Tower



If you tuned in last week then you'll get the picture here right away. 2011 was a year that, cinematically, mostly happened around the edges. Nothing in the Top 10 was breaking new ground or enticing the keen movie-goer with more than the promise that you were getting something where you knew what it was. All the action was happening outside of the big box office.

Maybe part of this was down to the death of wave-1 3D where 3D was slapped onto everything whether it warranted it or not and a few titles, Drive Angry I'm looking at you, were only released cinematically in 3D for no good reason whatsoever. Thankfully, however, where the 80s nostalgia was strong, 3D was seen as an unnecessary distraction from all the AWESOME 80s ACTION. At least, that's how we're choosing to read it.

In some ways the 80s wasn't so strong with 2011, a Conan reboot attempt, a Fright Night remake, a Footloose remake and the prequel to The Thing makes a solid if unremarkable effort. But then we did get a Margaret Thatcher biopic thrown in the mix and, despite not being genre, that makes a solid 80s foundation to show the decade where all the best movies happened is still present in spirit.

In a way, though, the very best 80s stuff was in the films that hadn't forgotten the spirit of the 80s whether that be in the robot karate kid form of Real Steel, the Eddie Murphy starring heist in the tower or the "Yoot On Bikes" alien invasion comedy Attack the Block. Whichever way you slice it the spirit of the 80s was strong in 2011 and that's just the way we kids like it.

This episode uses Excerpts of John Bartmann's My Time Done Come, available on Bandcamp and used under a Creative Commons License


Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/3042011Part2/3-04-2011-Part-2.mp3

Thursday, 8 November 2018

Episode 126:A Popcorn Bucket Full of One-Star Reviews



It's 1-Star Reviews all around this week as we look at the top ten movies of 2011 and it's not the world's most inspiring list, filled with franchise bloat and soaked through with sequel sogginess. There are a couple of gems and some fun times, but, for the most bankable movies of any year, the general picture is pretty sad.

Smurfs, Transformers, Muscle Cars, more sodding sparkly vampires, it's enough to make you want to drink, drink, drink until oblivion takes you, only to wake up the next day in some unknown location with no hair and a leopard in the bedroom. And yet, we didn't, and neither did anyone we know. All in all 2011 appeared, upon the surface of it, to be a pretty enjoyable year for movies, certainly the upcoming summer of 2013, infamous as the "Summer of Various Disappointments" had more to be glum about, so what gives?

It would appear that the masses were swayed towards big, solid, bankable, critic-proof franchise fare, which is fine and fair enough when you're talking martial arts pandas, talking cars or super spies who may, or may not, be getting on a bit now. But the wonderful thing about 2011 is that it allowed us to have our own dreams, there were many smaller, non-top ten movies that filled in the aching void of hunger for something a bit more substantial.

Great, Leo managed to get through that whole set up blurb without mentioning Captain America or Thor. Now to move on to next week, where he won't be mentioning them either.

This episode uses Excerpts of John Bartmann's My Time Done Come, available on Bandcamp and used under a Creative Commons License

EDITOR'S NOTE: At one point in this episode Leo boldly proclaims that Captain America: The First Avenger and Thor made x "thousand" dollars at the box office, he, of course, meant x "million" dollars but failed to catch his own mistake. I have covered it up as seamlessly as I can, hope no one notices...


Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/3032011Part1/3-03-2011-Part-1.mp3

Thursday, 1 November 2018

Episode 125: Halloween Special - Stranger Kids



It is the weird time, the time of long shadows, where the cold bites harder, above the ragged fingers of blackish clouds claw at the bone-white surface of the moon. It is the time of bizarre happenings, of disquieting omens and of throwback 80s nostalgia weird fiction that you can binge watch on a popular streaming service.

Grabbing the chance as the kids whizz by (you know, on their bikes) those other kids, the ones from the 80s mull over the new hotness of all things 80s throwback. Is the current fad any more than that? Are kids on bikes integral to the vibe? Are these artefacts true to the era, or just fluffy (if tentacly) nostalgia for the time of the 80s? Does any of this matter if we're all having a good time?

Taking in the sights along the way the 80s kids stroll, unaided by human-powered bi-pedal assistance, through the cultural thicket, and wonder what happened to the good old family weird fiction movie of yore. Has the double whammy of IT and Stranger Things created the illusion of a new phase of the 80s culture revival, or is there more to be gained in the future from the neon past of the Goonies, the Monster Squad and, of course, Explorers?

This episode uses Excerpts of John Bartmann's My Time Done Come, available on Bandcamp and used under a Creative Commons License


Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/302HalloweenSpecialStrangerKids/3-02-Halloween-Special-Stranger-Kids.mp3

Tuesday, 30 October 2018

Episode 124: Summer Review 2018



So the time of reckoning has come once more unto the kids from the 80s. It was a summer of blockbuster box office but also some bluster and blocked profits for titles that surely should have been bankable even though they were... erm... going solo. We ruminate for the mandatory amount of time about Sci Fi shenanigans, underwhelming dinos, overwhelming Star Wars ennui and purple dudes with universe-altering bling. But we are the 80s kids, and we are disciplined so on we trot in good time.

Horror movies, kids movies, comedies, how did they fare in the summer of 2018, well, a hell of a lot better than your straight action thriller, that's for certain. As we ruin the Quiet Place with our noise and moan about the annoying rabbit we have to wonder, will Joe Carnahan ever get a break?

In the comedies it would appear to be all about those Crazy, Rich Asians, leading to a question about whether things are as questionable as we first thought if they're making bank at the box office. One thing's for certain the summer of 2018 had its ups and its downs but Action Point still didn't make any money.

This episode uses Excerpts of John Bartmann's My Time Done Come, available on Bandcamp and used under a Creative Commons License


Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/301SummerRoundUp2018/3-01-Summer-Round-Up-2018.mp3