Saturday, 31 October 2015

Episode 117: Halloween Special: King Me!

It's the most magical time of the year! Yes, that's right, Hallowe'en and not any other holiday at all. So what better time for the 80s Kids to group together and chew the fat over all things grisly, not to say gristly. So join Leo Scaryclown, Ian Curdlewell and Justin Why-god-whyatt for a discussion of that titan of modern horror: Stephen King.

From Carrie to Kingdom Hospital, from Pennywise the Clown to a bunch of sentient trucks we're taking a look at one of the central figures of modern horror. You may be amazed at just how much pop culture has King's trademark tropes shot through it. We'll be asking all the vital questions like how come there's so much of this stuff? And why are most film adaptations bizarre, mediocre or both.

Let's take a Stand, gather in our Dark Tower and enter the Dead Zone. It's Four To Midnight and some joke about the Shawshank Redemption that misses the mark by a Green Mile.

Hoo boy, that's one hell of a Creepshow on the Graveyard Shift.

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Saturday, 17 October 2015

Episode 116: 2015 Summer review LIVEish

Six months ago they who shall be known as the 80s Kids made their summer predictions. They picked the movies that they believed would do the business at the box office and grab the summer movie dollar. Now comes the time of the Predictoreckoning! Were they on the money? Or were they hopelessly out of touch? Did they find the gobbliest turkey? Did they unearth a surprise gem? Tune in to find out!

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Friday, 9 October 2015

Upcoming Hangouts - Summer Review and Hallowe'en

We're back for a couple of specials this month. On the 17th October we'll be reviewing our predictions for the summer and at Hallowe'en we'll be discussing Horror-meister Stephen King both in live hangouts. Here's some links to the google events. We'll put up YouTube windows nearer the time.

Summer Review: [Alas poor link, we hardly knew ye.]

Hallowe'en Special: [Ain't nobody here but us dead links]

Thursday, 23 July 2015

Episode 115 - Looking Forward To Farewell

Is it that time already? Lo, brother (and/or sister) it is late and the candle has burned low. Over three decades and twenty-six alphanumeric symbols later the time has come to rest.

When we started this crazy show two and a bit years ago we could not have dreamed of how little anyone would care or how few people would listen. It truly has been an epic poke in the eye for the principle of the cream rising to the top. Not that I'm saying there was much intellectual value in this enterprise.

In this last episode Leo, keeping up his brash know-it-all smug superiority states that it was Daedalus that rolled a rock to the top of a hill in Greek mythology. Clearly it was Sisyphus. Daedalus got away scot free after acting like a massively amoral smug git for his entire life. And what did Sisyphus do really? Well, loads of terrible things as it goes. What was my point?

Yes, that's it, even at the last all the tropes are here, opening skit with fabulous production values, gentlemen we have a problem, Leo sounds like a know-it-all and then gets things horribly wrong, Justin leaves the cast halfway through due to other commitments... oh no, wait, that didn't happen. We missed one off the checklist. That's it, the finale is ruined.

So, listen to the 80s Kids discuss sharks and when things jump over them, other things this podcast could have been called, and why we'll be lurking in corners where you'll never know if we're going to pounce.

These are the last minutes of the 80s Kids Revenge, and they're the weirdest minutes you're likely to hear all week.


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Friday, 17 July 2015

LIVE 80s Kids - One Time Only Offer!*

Hey Guys,

Here's the YouTube Window thingie for the 80s Kids Grand Finale. We'll attempt to keep an eye on chat and also the Q&A app during the show. We'll be aiming to start about 10:30AM BST (GMT +1) but as usual there may be technical hiccups etc. so bear with us.

Less than 24 hours to go!!!!

* Until next time.

Thursday, 16 July 2015

Episode 114: The 80s Kids ABC of Cinema - WXYZ

Oh how the years have flown by, and so it is like letters of the alphabet so are the days of our lives. The 80s Kids have bested three and a half decades of genre cinema and they're not going to let the weird end of the alphabet get them down.

It's a three-of-four week so you can also speculate as to whether anyone will have picked a 'W'. X-citement will surely build to X-cruciating levels before, X-position being what it is the X-hausting truth will be X-posed.

Y? You may ask. Y all the terrible puns? Y ask Y when we ask Y not? After all it's our second to last chance so Y not cut loose and enjoy ourselves.

Finally we tackle the perennial problem of zombies. After all in TUV we talked about their charming bloodsucker counterparts. Do our movie monster choices have much to do with American politics? Well, there's only one way to find out the answer, and it will be one hell of a story.

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Thursday, 9 July 2015

Episode 113: The 80s Kids Top 5 Films of the 00s Face Off - Part Two

Gosh it seems like it's taken us a long time to get here. Which is BECAUSE IT HAS! Two and a bit years is a long time in anyone's book. If someone had put you in a box and buried you for that long you'd jolly well know about it by now... or maybe you wouldn't.

Anyway, here we are. The 80s Kids faves of the 00s are about to be known by one and, indeed all. The implication of this is that with a little careful re-examination of the archive you could build some kind of Uber List of 80s Kids top movies from the 70s, 80s, 90s and 00s. That's a lot of favourite movie action there people.

Anyway, now you're back after your impromptu film festival of the last four decades(ish) of cinema I have to tell you that you missed up to 8 important movies. Yes, you, you're always running off to do stuff without thinking it through.

The 80s Kids, and there are four of them, have two movies each yet to disclose. You went off to watch the rest and left these ones out. So you'd better sit down right now and listen to this podcast because only then will your life be complete*.

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*This may not actually happen. But it's a good podcast.

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Wednesday, 1 July 2015

Episode 112: The 80s Kids Top 5 of the 00s Face Off Part One

You know the drill people, we start with 5 films, all withheld from each other's knowledge. We countdown from 5 to 3 taking turns to reveal our picks. Simultaneous choices could lead to harmonious joy or social awkwardness. Who knows which way it will go.

Leo's pretty confident that he won't be interfering with anyone else's picks in the first part of the countdown. Sue believes she hasn't picked anything that other people will have gone for. Ian and Justin are both more wary.

Will there be upsets? Harmony? Discord? Social Awkwardness? A rapidly shoehorned in Shia Lebeouf monster? There's only one way to find out!

... Yes... that's listen to the podcast. What did you think I meant? Hum. Okay, why would I have meant that? You need help.

Incidental music provided as ever by

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Thursday, 25 June 2015

Episode 111: The 80s Kids ABC Of Cinema - TUV

It's all getting a bit wild as we come to the end of the alphabet. Sure, T is a reasonably well behaved letter but U and V? Not many choices there... something will have to be done.

To deal with the crossed T up front. Leo feels like a life on the ocean wave could get eerily repetitive. Ian needs to go, quickly. And Justin's going to head straight for the toy cupboard and dig out an exciting musical with loads of top quality acting talent.

After that though, it's wild card time, expect the Unusual, the Unorthodox, the Unbelievable and, in a bizarre twist a possibility of Unicorn Umbrellas.

Perhaps best to calm down and take a nap. As long as the room where you do so is fixed up with garlic on the sills and an excellent south facing aspect. Sonar confusing noise-emitters might also prove a boon. You could put a crucifix over the bed but I'm not sure they're still in fashion. V is for Vampire and we're going to round the show off by posing the question what makes a good vampire flick?

Incidental music, as always, by

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Thursday, 18 June 2015

Well, We're Past 100 Archived!

Hey guys, Leo here.

Just to let you know that we're past 100 and the archive is rolling on. We're about five shows from the end of the series now. Once we're done we'll make sure all the episodes remaining are backed up to the archive. We will also ensure that all our future plans are laid out clearly and this will be the first port of call for anyone wishing to know what those pesky 80s Kids are up to next.


Episode 110: 2009 - Is That All There Is?

The 80s Kids finally run out of road, chronologically speaking, this week as they arrive at their stated destination of 2009. This being the objective of their quest from the beginning. You would expect a chequered flag, a ribbon to break, champagne, fireworks.

Instead, and rather predictably, they just find a load of inconvenient questions...

Where does one file "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus"? Was it a good year to be a child? A sci fi fan? A horror fan? What if you like Literary Adaptations? Or just fancied a bit of a laugh? Or splosions? Everyone likes splosions! Surely?

There was certainly a good quantity of product on offer at the close of the noughties. How much of it was any good though? The 80s Kids roll up their sleeves and get stuck into a year like any other, desperately so.

In other news their mysterious nemesis, working on behalf of the evil arch-nemesis Big Bay, finally has the kids cornered. As they've managed to get this far without dying, and now their journey is at its end, you probably won't care much for the resolution of that plot strand though, will you?

Hardly incidental, and actually rather good, music provided by Awesome.

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Thursday, 11 June 2015

Episode 109: The 80s Kids ABC of Cinema - PQRS

Perfectly primed the 80s kids begin the show reflecting on prejudice and pleasant times. Quite quickly though a queue forms querying the quixotic nature of the team's picks.

Rallying redoubtably the troops regroup to rethink. Reconnoitre random ripping yarns from the silver screen. Slithering slinkily within sight come some suspiciously sublime selections to round out the show.

If all that PQRS alliteration hasn't put you off then maybe themes of monochrome, stop motion, 70s style action, weird porcine adventures, voyeurism, ecology and the sad decline of bankable properties will.

The only way to find out is to take the plunge. Come on in, it's very pleasant.

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Thursday, 4 June 2015

Episode 108: And Now, The End Is Near

SPOILER WARNING! This show is about the ends of shows. So the topic of conversation is necessarily spoiler-heavy. Listen with caution!

You had to know it was on its way. There's only one year left in the Noughties, those final Top 5s and we're a mere 7 letters from the end of the alphabet.

All that remains is for the kids to sweep up, arrange the barstools neatly and turn out the lights. Cue the emotional piano music, like all great shows the 80s Kids is winding up to the big finish.

So, before we take that last step into the arena of finality, why not take the opportunity to get all beardy that one last time?

In a conclusion to the "navel-gazing" strand of the cast Leo and Ian talk about show finales. They go hunting for the common threads in that most elusive of beasts: the satisfying conclusion.

"Lost" is bound to come up again, as it does, but there's also a look at "Star Trek: TNG", "Buffy", new "BSG" "Fringe", "Blakes 7", "Babylon 5", "Twin Peaks" and "The Shield" among others.

So as the roundabout slows try not to get anything in your eye. You can rest assured that the kids aren't going to go out in an "everybody dies" toys from pram kind of a finale.

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Thursday, 28 May 2015

Episode 107: The 80s Kids ABC of Movies: MNO

There's some unexpected crossing over on 80s Kids Story Time this week where M and O provide a chance for the kids to find out what they have in common.

It turns out that Ian and Justin both feel some concern that they might be judged, in a cosmic sense. Justin and Leo, on the other hand, are just both at home among hairy gentlemen with big swords, but find luminous dragons an issue.

Aside from this the week's dark volume of lunatic tales ponders on the fatality that comes to British actors called Sean, the possibly copyright infringing silent creatures of the night, and numinous presences that take full advantage of the "N" loophole!

It's enough to drive anyone mad. Possibly best to settle down for a nice meal at a high altitude, and watch out for snipers on the way home from the registry office, won't you?

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Wednesday, 20 May 2015

Episode 106: 2008 - The Revenge Of The 80s Kids

Striking back against Big Bay this week the 80s Kids revel in the year of the Revenge of the 80s Kids. 2008 was the year in which the modern world, and by the modern world I mean the Marvel Cinematic Universe, was born. After the joys of Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk, though, what more did 2008 have to offer?

The Punisher is brutal, for sure, and this probably leads to it being unfairly sent to the Marvel Studios naughty corner. Don't forget the other comic book joy on offer this year, DC's finest hour was born in the form of The Dark Knight, and Guillermo Del Toro presented us with Hellboy II: The Golden Army.

Don't get me wrong, there was dross on offer in 2008: The Spirit, Eagle Eye, Quantum of Solace. The thing is, though, that when 2008 got it right it got it so so damn right. Let us not forget The Forbidden Kingdom, Doomsday, Death Race, Transporter 3, Vantage Point and Pineapple Express.

That roster alone should tell you that the 80s Kids were being well served in 2008, let us not forget that this year also gave us the film that told us being a LARPer was fine, nay, not just fine but cool, in the shape of Role Models. Let's grab out rubber swords and geek out about one of the most joyfully nerdy years in cinema history.

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Thursday, 14 May 2015

Episode 105: Arc Shows - The Inevitable Filler Episode

...And then the main characters found themselves embarrassingly in medias res without a chance to properly adjust. Such has become the lot of the television protagonist, their stories creatively non-linear, their issues never resolved in a single episode, their tales always working in the most convoluted of twists.

This week the Kids from the 80s, for it is they, look at the phenomenon of prestige television in all its forms, from The Wire to Breaking Bad, from Abrams to Kring, all the big hitters are here. Asking the questions that must have occurred to all modern viewers of the telly box at some stage the kids pontificate about the problems of making things up as you go along and the limiting factors of studio interference and actor contracts.

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Thursday, 7 May 2015

Episode 104: The 80s Kids ABC of Cinema - JKL

Back we go! Back to the toy box of the 80s kids to pull forth the pack of letter blocks, separate out three and challenge the kids to make a word from the results. Unfortunately the letters returned are JKL, so anything that is not a noise you make when you first stub your toe is out of the question.

Conversation soon turns, inevitably, to film picks. Ian's first pick is about extreme woodworking, at least it's undertaken by a professional... Justin gets insulting with his first choice leading Leo to rifle through his Smiths records for a soothing tune about the ineffectiveness of snooze alarms on a significant other.

Moving onto K, Leo has an axe to grind, as long as he's dancing while he grinds it, of course. Justin's pick is up to something and wears many hats in order to achieve its nefarious aims. Ian will put things right as long as he doesn't lose an eye playing with knives, or starfish, or both.

They decide, predictably enough, to round off with L where Justin is contemplating failure. Ian is making a high score which could lead him into serious trouble. As the others depart Leo finds himself as the only one left... or some other way to describe that situation.

Incidental music by Kevin Macleod of

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Thursday, 30 April 2015

Episode 103: 2007 - Big Bay Strikes Back!

History itself has conformed to a shape that tells us the 80s Kids had a destiny, an epic birthright and a pleasing plot arc. For we have arrived at 2007, a mere three years from the finish line to find a wasteland, a cinematic apocalypse lurking in an unexpected location.

2007 was so devoid of worth that it's amazing that people let it pass as if it was just another year. Forget the fact that this is the year of the first Bayformers, we have and we feel much better for it. This is the year in which you could count the number of truly successful movies on the digits of two hands and not even need the thumbs.

Hot Fuzz, Enchanted, Stardust, a Potter, a Bourne and we're pretty much done. Sure we had 300 featuring Gerard Butler in a pair of Y-Fronts and a cloak, a Spartan outfit indeed. We had a tepid Simpsons Movie. After those meagre pickings however you're in the arena of "letting things off the hook".

Ratatouille did nothing for Pixar's reputation, Spider Man 3 is still derided for the creation of emo-Parker, I Am Legend was a vehicle for Will Smith's massive ego, Beowulf gave Sue a headache because of the 3-D and Leo a headache because of everything else, the less said about Bridge To Terabithia the better. The mediocre dross keeps spewing.

The Golden Compass is like dust on the wind, 1408 is all but forgotten, Blood & Chocolate thankfully missed the Twihard wannabe boat, The Invasion was the remake ashamed of its own story, The Number 23 is as disappointing as only the 22nd sequel in any franchise could be, Hitman failed to hit the mark, Shooter suffered from a remarkable lack of action and War demonstrated that you shouldn't ever put Jet Li and Jason Statham in the same place at the same time.

Ian tries to lighten the mood with a wry observation arising from the implications of AvP:Requiem. It's no good, however, we're trapped in a tin can in a vacuum at the mercy of our arch-nemesis and the air is running low. Truly the darkest point of the journey, so grim Justin can't even be bothered to make an out of context remark. Let's just hope we can extricate ourselves from this mess before it's too late...

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Thursday, 23 April 2015

Episode 102: Hellraiser - Cinema Release For Some, Straight To DVD For Others

The Hellraiser series is an odd duck. A film series that has, over the years, churned out movies featuring that most iconic demon/angel with a love of S&M who cares not for the 'safety word' as he carries off for torture any who have been foolish enough to solve a certain puzzle box.

The films have wavered in quality for arty reactions against the mindless slasher genre to patchwork visions of hell to actually being a mindless monster movie before becoming a property that while yearning for another 'Must see' entry in the canon seems to flounder every time and could be argued fares much better as something roughly jammed into a horror script that wasn't even supposed to feature them.

And so a strange chain of 9ish movies stretching from our 80s home land and into more or less modern day lies before us, and while fan differ on exactly where the golden era exactly falls the jumbled sequence of largely unsynchronized films and DVDs seems to hang together as a body of work, where a wild and fascinating mythology seems to emerge between the cracks.

Realizing there's always safety in numbers the 80s kids have enlisted the aid of horror enthusiast J R Park to help as they navigate their way through one of the most fascinating franchises out there. Hellraiser films good and bad take us between ultimate pleasure and ultimate pain. To think... we hesitated... Incidental Music by

Thursday, 16 April 2015

Episode 101: Victorian Action Detective and the Fate of the Dinosaurs

It's after midnight at the beardy discussion diner. The 100th party is over, Justin's eaten too much cake and passed out, so out come the weighty philosophical ideas. What's baking Leo's noodle this week is the twin dilemma that lurks between current copyright law and our digital ability to back up everything.

On the one hand it is sad that copyright material that is not cherished and preserved is lost forever, but creative things are lost all the time. Sure, for some reason we all know about Robin Hood the outlaw of Nottingham who robbed from the rich and gave to the poor but what about Melvin Tabard the Cheeky Bandito of Cleethorpes. He robbed from a variety of people, pooled the money and gave it back to them divided equally, also known as the Dutch Deliverer? We've all forgotten him, or I just made him up to illustrate a point.

The unfortunate fact is that since the mid-noughties it has become almost impossible to get rid of a cultural artifact that, at some point, was rendered into digital format. This sounds good in theory but when people en masse prefer to recycle old things in the form of franchises, sequels, prequels and works based on other works how do we ensure that artists continue to create new, far less popular things?

Ironically, copyright and its ridiculous terms has created, in addition to a sort of enforced forgetting, an enforced create something passably new situation. A work may be "heavily influenced" but it is, at least, its own thing.

Does this make copyright an unintentional hero fighting for the cause of novelty? Almost certainly. Is this new idea likely to be popular? Probably not, new things don't gain much traction in this day and age. Good job we have copyright to fence off huge swathes of intellectual property from lazy artists eh? Who's with me! See, that's what I thought. Not a popular idea. But just WAIT for the sequel! Incidental Music by

Thursday, 9 April 2015

Episode 100: The 80s Kids 100th Show LIVEish

Over the many months our humble podcast has operated we have on occasion numbered most (but not all) of our podcasts. The amount of those shows with numbers has now counted unto a definitive positive 100 and with our second anniversary just a mere two pods away it was decided to leap upon this arbitrary base ten number moment of double zero numerical figure happenstance to declare it a combined 100th and Anniversary occasion, what with our one year anniversary falling on episode 50 and all.

So having gotten our motives out the way let me lay out the fun fact we had a jolly good time celebrating the event on Saturday the 4th of April with a live Google hang out. As a matter of archiving that event is now here as an audio only podcast.

Within this tight package you'll see... or rather hear... Leo, Ian and Justin congratulate each other on things podcast related before answering some listener submitted questions, reflecting on the state of the show...

Normally at these mile stones program makers normally speculate that with X number of things gone there's no reason their won't be X number in the future. Sadly we cannot make this boast. And the future of the Revenge of the 80s Kids and what lies beyond it is greatly discussed. Also... clips. So that's nice. Incidental Music by that most enigmatic but oblivious contributor... the vastly talented

Monday, 6 April 2015

Welcome To The Archive!

Hi Everyone! Leo here. Just welcoming you to the Revenge of the 80s Kids official archive. As you will note the entries beneath are back dated to the date of original broadcast. The files are hosted on the Internet Archive where they ask for the creation date, this is why I happened to have them to hand. So over time this will grow into the centre of the 80s Kids Universe. Enjoy!

Thursday, 2 April 2015

Episode 99: The 80s Kids ABC of Cinema - GHI

This week the 80s Kids are continuing their alphabet themed ascent through the films they enjoy, or feel someone else should be enjoying. Today we're having merriment with Movies starting with the letters G, H and I.

Ian's G Film sees him get quite animated in places as he goes off for adventure in distant exotic parts Justin's G Film has him in a very bad mood so best not annoy him. Leo's G Film is about an exciting pastime for all the family aged 8 and above ... but then someone got too competitive, an argument broke out about the rules and someone flipped the table and walk off.

Leo's H film is about one hell of a cop. Justin's H film a laughable Hitchcockian thriller. Ian's H film sees everyone stuck indoors for a maths lesson. Ian's I Film is a sobering tale of an ordinary family trying their best to accommodate their new neighbors.

Justin's I Film is a road trip in which life lessons are dispensed by celebrity cameos. Meanwhile Leo's I film has us all looking within for the small hero inside us all. Incidental Music by

Thursday, 26 March 2015

Episode 98: 2006 - Lady in the Podcast

So we prepared for this one, adequately we felt. We have noticed that year shows at the latter end of the journey are somewhat... how shall we say... baggy. The pace of film production has just gone mental these last few years.

We took a look at the list of major releases recorded for 1976 the other day and it looked like someone had left off 75% of the titles to our jaded modern eyes. So we carefully selected the movies to look at and the ones to group and discuss en masse. We stuck to the plan. We knew we could keep our discussion time down.

We failed.

So what went wrong??? Well, 2006... and this sounds like a cop-out but really it's not... 2006 was a very cerebral year at the pictures. Not so much in Hollywood where it was all pirates and secret agents and failing to do Superman properly again. The smaller projects are the problem. How can you not spend quality time discussing Children of Men? Or Deja Vu? Or Idiocracy? Or Pan's Labyrinth? There's just so much to talk about!

Thank goodness we did V for Vendetta in our Wachowskis retrospective, because honestly that might have taken us past the 2 hour point. Thankfully 2007 is shaping up to be completely boring, so next time... next time...

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Thursday, 19 March 2015

Episode 97: Noughties Procedural Action Men - The TV show

Procedural drama. You know the stuff. You have your cast of regulars who act as problem solvers and each week they get to do their job, working their way through whatever crisis is going on in a neat format be that Murders, Undead Horrors or Aliens come to Earth to stir up trouble.

Of course we've got over an hour to kill talking on this topic on our episode so this necessitates a degree of formula. After our attention grabbing opening skit we sink our teeth into 'Angel' as this series more than any other seemed to umbrella over so much of what we wanted to discuss. This quickly leads into a more worldly chat about the frantic '24' and then onto the crime shows of 'CSI', 'Lie to Me', The Mentalist', 'Criminal Minds' and that UK attempt at '24' style show ... 'Spooks'. If we were a procedural show all this would fall before our first ad break so you can safely assume it will be a dead end as we move on to new lines of inquiry after a word from our sponsor.

We then head into the thrilling middle section as the problem only seems to deepen. Taking our conversation to the amazing but gritty 'The Shield', the undying 'Supernatural', the much beloved 'True Blood', the quirky 'Eureka' and charming 'Warehouse 13'. But all this is mere run around that only leaves us with an ever deepening mystery.

Finally, getting desperate, Leo lets Ian off his leash and lets him talk on the shaggy Doctor Who spin off 'Torchwood', and while he's waffling away to himself something he says makes a connection in Leo's mind and suddenly in a dramatic final scene all is explained and the topic put to bed in time for the closing titles.

And next week will be very much the same I expect. But I think people find such things reassuring.

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Thursday, 12 March 2015

Episode 96: The 80s Kids Summer Predictions - LIVEish...

Not content with having plenty of time to consider their choices before being wrong the 80s Kids went onto Google Hangouts on 7th March 2015 to be wrong before an audience of their peers.

Never has inaccurately taking a punt about what may or may not be a big hit/massive flop at the pictures been so... immediate. Across the categories of Sci Fi, Action, Childrens, Comedy and Horror the 80s Kids try to foresee the summer's big hitters and find one wretched turkey in the pile. Have they actually managed to get anything right except for the unremarkable statement that Avengers: Age of Ultron might be a bit of a thing?

Well, they managed to ignore the Pixar movie and Disney's Tomorrowland altogether. This should give you an indication of how close their finger is to the pulse. Really we all just tune in to this just so we laugh that little bit harder in October when the Summer Review comes out, aren't we? And how much sweeter as that show will most assuredly be a live webcast as well! Enjoy.

Wednesday, 4 March 2015

Episode 95: The Wachowskis

This week Leo and Ian have a darn good natter about those latter day divisive writers/Directors/Producers the Wachowskis. Famed for inventing the black leather martial arts with philosophy genre with the Matrix and then, perhaps very ironically, kind of killing it off with the Matrix Sequels.

Here our duo of Leo, a confessed Wachowskis apologist and Ian, a Washowskis agnostic, rumble through their film career. Going from Assassins to Jupiter Ascending is quite a journey with many an ascent and descent along the way. Such as the note worthy V for Vendetta, the annoying blur of Speedracer and the fascinating but flawed Cloud Atlas.

Special time and attention is paid to the Wachowsikis' latest cinematic master piece Jupiter Ascending, which has proven to be a test of faith for Fan boy Leo and much ranting is to be had if you like that kind of thing. What is sure to be on nobody's like list is the political discussion surrounding V for Vendetta, if you feel the need to comment back on any of this please use our Facebook page, as I understand this website is the most common place to be complaining about Obama anyway.

Incidental Music by

Thursday, 26 February 2015

Episode 94: 2005 - The Man For Whom Aeon Flux Was Made

This week the 80s Kids are going to talk about 2005. Here we are, slap bang in the middle of the noughties and if this zero themed decade is about anything I guess it should be happening RIGHT NOW!

Looking over our selection it seems to be a year of torch passing, or at least torch dropping while other more successful flame bearers are getting on those sport shoes with the spiky soles and limbering up for a good run ahead defining the era. Very much in the stumbling camp are the relics of yesteryear greats.

The Star Wars prequels finally reach 'okay' on the watchability spectrum and calling it a day. Hitchickers Guide to the Galaxy finally expires with it's latest incarnation on our cinema screens bring an end to Douglas Adams twenty year ambition to tell exactly the same story over and over in every possible medium.

Spielberg's War of the Worlds stalls badly upon arrival on Earth, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory judders off the Burton production line and ends up in the reject bin and the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe totally fails to enchant itself to a new generation of children.

Meanwhile the superheroes continue their campaign to dominate all cinema with the impressive Batman Begins and the not so impressive Fantastic Four. The stylistically violent nihilistic noir of Sin City and acceptable Keanu Reeves vehicle Constantine.

King Kong lumbers about like he owns the joint and as usual Potter dominates the year. This year also proved conclusively that Firefly fans really are a small tiny minority of an obscure short lived show with the failure of Serenity.

This might garner the film a extra special place in our sentimental hearts, but then Leo pointed out that while Firefly fans are few the total number of people for whom Aeon Flux was made for number only one, and that was him and him alone. Given the duty of geeks is to love the most obscure thing possible in favor of the mainstream we have named this episode in its honor. Incidental Music by

Thursday, 19 February 2015

Episode 93: Soundtracks

So ... how did we come to discuss Soundtracks with the wrong Justin? Well, there is a saying in the Military: 'No plan survives it's first encounter with the enemy'.

The 80s Kids can now add to this wisdom with: "Don't make a recording schedule planning out the next six months worth of shows because it will fall to pieces and collapse into disorder at the first hurdle."

With Mr Wyatt suddenly away doing some artist thing the remaining 80's kids found their carefully laid plans thrown into chaos. In in times of crisis we did what any level headed set of individuals might do. ie: Blame the guy who's not there to defend himself, fire him and hire a new Justin.

And so into our Podcast comes Justin 2.0. Faster, leaner, deadlier and with a complimentary set of cup holders thrown in for free. We then plucked the topic of 'Soundtracks' out of thin air and mouthing off our ill researched thoughts into microphones we recorded this show.

So please, sit back and relax as we welcome Justin Park to the podcast as we ramble on in an incoherent train of thought about the musical bits in Films. They do their best to spice up viewer emotions or at very least give a handy hint about how the film makers would like them to be feeling. Incidental Music by the irreplaceable

Wednesday, 11 February 2015

Episode 92: Space - The Final Boxset

This week the 80s Kids are strapping on their rocket packs, putting on their best rock quarry hiking boots and setting their story arcs to stun. Yes, this week we're discussing the long running space operas of the Noughties.

A quick glance at the rows of boxset on my groaning DVD shelves reminds me this will cover such things as the sexy obsessive and strangeness of Farscape, to the overly serious plot rambling Battlestar Galatica reboot. From the dismal inbred mutant that was Enterprise to Roddenberry's illegitimate spawn Andromeda.

From Stargates Atlantis to Universe and back again. Strap in tight as we set nostalgia to lightspeed, it's time to fly out into the great beyond and seek out new opinions and insights as we boldly return to where many a geek as gone before. Incidental music by incompetech.

Friday, 6 February 2015

Episode 91: 2004 - Alien King Arthur of the Dead and the Catwoman of Azkaban Versus Predator Sky Captain Helsing's Spiderford Wives Team America of the Spotless Robot

Delayed by a mere 24 hours episode 91 is finally here!

This week the Decade trotting trio confront the Bombs and Booms of 2004's Film choices! I'm sure I can fill a few sentences with humorous and informative descriptions of what we talked about. But really, doesn't the films of 2004 sum it all up already?

I really feel I'd be repeating myself if I went into any more detail about which films in particular. I mean, google the darn year and you'll see this is the time of Van Helsing, Catwoman, I Robot, King Arthur, The Third Harry Potter Film, Team America, District 13, AvP, The Chronicles of Riddick, Spiderman 2, Hellboy, The Stepford Wives, Bourne Supremacy, Man on Fire, Shaun of the Dead and Blade Trinity to name but a few.

With our rose tinted glasses we predictably rifle our way though this jumble of date collected movies, offering opinions on the fly on the remembered big hitters and the forgotten bombs of this yesteryear ... erm .... year.

If you don't know what the 80s kids are like by now ... well ... you're very much like the other 99.999999999999% of the internet, so why not stand out and give us a listen? Incidental Music by

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Thursday, 5 February 2015

Webcast Special 1: The 80s Kids Almost Live!

Panic not 80s Kids enthusiast! For the regularly scheduled programme is not absent, no, merely delayed. But it is Thursday and therefore new 80s Kids is programmed.

So in addition to a regular show this week, and at no extra charge, here is an audio version of a webcast the guys did earlier in the week. It's the dawn of a new age people, you no longer have to picture the kids picking their noses, spilling salsa down themselves or finding interesting things in their ears during a show.

No. Now you can see it as it happens!


After a shaky start the Kids get down to a brief discussion of hiring big name actors to provide voice talent for animated features, and then, like that they are gone.

See, that sentence would have worked so much better if you could have seen me deliver it. There will be further opportunities for live interaction to come but for now enjoy the glory of the things that were. Music (as ever) by

Thursday, 29 January 2015

Episode 90: The 80s Kids ABC Of Movies - DEF

It's story time once more as the 80s kids return to their alphabet themed ascent through the films they just want to talk about some more. This week films beginning with D, E or F!

Leo's D is definitely something of a collection of films within his collection of films. Justin's D is quite honestly dreddful and deals with worthy social issues such as effective policing in built up innercity areas. Ian's D is the most horrific and depressing children's film ever made. Seriously Ann Frank is a mad cap comedy musical about hide and seek by comparison.

Leo's E is a riveting exploration of the politics of urban development after the ruling monarch makes an ass of himself. Justin's E is a traditional English fairy tale... so murder, rape, incest with almost everyone dying at the end is what we should expect! Ian's E is a charming story of friendship that forms between three boys after they decide to follow their dreams and aim for the skies.

Leo's F will have your eyes out on stalks! Well, one of your eyes out on a stalk anyway and not the either ones you expect! Justin's F features an FBI agent who's literally quite besides himself after a police hunt for a dangerous terrorist actually goes very well. And finally Ian's F will feature the post apocalyptic survivors of a polygon world trying to come to terms with the sudden arrival of a pretty CGI dragon! Incidental music by

Thursday, 22 January 2015

Episode 89: The Usual Bad Movies

What do Battlefield Earth, Ninja Terminator, Equilibrium, Highlander II, Catwoman and the Twilight Saga all have in common? Easy, they are unquestionably BAD movies. Not just the bottom pile 'Some had to come last' kind of Bad, I mean awful failures of culture kind of bad.

And yet even in the cesspool of cinema we find different hews and flavors of wretchedness. Sometimes it's just the singular creative vision of one man who's ability is in fact far below his own estimation; sometimes it's because a film is made so fast and for so little money that all choices made were in the lap of whatever they could think to do when the camera turned on; sometimes it's a frustrating mix of actual talent being smothered by fundamentally poor core ideas; sometimes it's because the script just kept changing depending on what day of the week it was; or maybe sometimes it was doomed from the outset because it's based on a book that is in any objective sense awful.

So please come join us as we look over some of the most infamously terrible movies and have nice chat about it all and watch us hope against hope that a bad film can gets so awful it loops right around and becomes hilariously good again. Incidental Music by

Thursday, 15 January 2015

Episode 88: 2003 - Early Superheroes And Late Career Exits

The passing of Sean Connery out of the world of film making forever is not likely to be the first thing one thinks about when recalling the year 2003, this is partly because League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is quite forgettable and because it was a REALLY busy year film wise.

Return of the King wrapped up the acclaimed Tolkien epic to the sound of many relieved awards and of course Marvel were very much out in force this year, although it's clear now the mass popularity of their present day incarnation was brought with the sweat, tears and failure of earlier films such as Hulk and Daredevil, and according to Leo X2 is looking ropy for it's age now too.

The glut of Films we had to see this is is noticeably up, and other franchise are more than happy to join in the Partly. But if 2003 is remembered for anyone's departure it's likely that old rusty cyborg Mr Schwarzenegger hanging up his mini gun and also making his film making exit with forest mushroom clouds wiping out humanity. Really after that a career in high office politics was a shoe in. Incidental Music by

Thursday, 8 January 2015

Episode 87: Horribly Cheap

The new year is a great time for putting aside old grudges and starting fresh with all things. So naturally the 80s Kids are going to take this opportunity to have a jolly good moan and bring up old grievances. You know, just generally do their uppermost to earn those grumpy old men points.

The focus of Leo and Ian's withering dissatisfaction with week is the anemic generation of so called Horror movies currently thriving down the local cinema. Back in the glory days of the 80s Horror meant disturbing Monsters and gruesome dismemberment prosthetic effects ... or at least something that was shocking and physiologically scaring to watch. These days it's tedious found footage and cheap jump scares.

Frankly we've had enough and we have an hour's worth of moaning about it. It's not just cheap and lazy, the latest wave of horror is the death of innovation. But with Horror being a relativity successful side industry of cinema this humble podcast is as likely to be taken seriously as that guy from the ending of "The Body Snatchers". Incidental Music by

Thursday, 1 January 2015

Episode 86: Back To Back To The Future

Happy New Year! And what better time is there to talk about Back to the Future than 2015? The mythical far away date which we saw in the second film. Now we're here hover boards are sadly not a reality, neither are hydrated pizzas.

Nevertheless, with the much loved trilogy quickly heading to a time where , ironically, all of Back to the Future will be set in the past it seems an appropriate time to give the series an 80s Kids reevaluation. From the much loved first film, which seems to barely put a foot wrong with it's tight script, memorable characters and brilliant casting, to the eclectic sequel with it's mind bending time twisting plot, to the 'Wraps it all up in a bow' final western themed film that left us all happy and satisfied.

If there is such a thing as a perfect trilogy Back to the Future is a likely candidate. So please come join us as we set our time machines for 1985 and learn again all about believing in yourself, the power of love and the hatred for manure. Incidental Music by