Wednesday, 24 December 2014
The 80s Kids are back for another Christmas Adventure! What starts out as a Festive clip show turns into madness and chaos when Justin delivers a message so terrible the others can barely believe it.
What follows next is a perilous journey for survival and freedom through a world crafted by their arch nemesis Michael Bay. Menaced at their every turn Leo and Ian must face Big Bay's unsettling agents with their gratuitous special effects and nonsensical plot logic out to ensnare them.
And no matter who wins one thing is for sure ... The 80s Kids will never be the same again ... Wow ... this is just like EastEnders isn't it? Incidental Music by incompetech.com
Friday, 19 December 2014
It's story time at 80s Kids Towers and Leo is sitting down to concoct a tale inspired by the selections in this new format short run 80s Kids series: The 80s Kids ABC of Movies.
It's all pretty simple really. As we have wound our way through the myriad films of three decades certain films have, inevitably, ended up by the wayside. Some years were so bursting with potential conversation starters that the odd gem got left behind along the way.
The ABC is a way to redress the balance as our three intrepid adventurers select three films per episode whose titles start with a group of hand-picked carefully chosen letters.
In the first in the series the letters are ABC as all letters have been chosen alphabetically. There will be a special no-prize not issued to the listener who can guess what the next three carefully selected letters will be. Shall we? Lets.
Incidental music: "Sneaky Snitch" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Thursday, 11 December 2014
It's 2002, the year when a lot of the darkness and edge that Hollywood had been striving for in the 90s started to crystallise. The Bourne Identity reinvented espionage, Blade II reinvented vampires and Attack of the Clones brought the burgeoning field of incoherence to new levels of depth and complexity.
The 80s Kids had a great time in 2002 and aren't afraid to let their emotions show on the topic. Good thing for them that they don't live in the world of Equilibrium, both for plot-relevant reasons and because Leo still believes it is the worst film he has ever seen in a cinema to date.
On the subject of the underwhelm aside from the aforementioned clones we also had the Potter film most universally agreed to be "a bit meh" Chamber of Secrets and the forgettable sequel to Men in Black so snoozeworthy it's not even discussed in passing. To protect us from the parade of mediocrity are a number of exciting new developments and spectacular labours of love to go along with Bourne. This is, after all, the year of Raimi's Spiderman and Spielberg's Minority Report.
Can anyone declare the year which brought us Death To Smoochy, Cypher and The Transporter a failure? Can the 80s Kids? Turn on, download and find out. Incidental Music by Incompetech
Thursday, 4 December 2014
This week Leo makes the bold claim that all Noughties TV series can be split into two categories. Those that had more than three seasons and those which had less.
Well, I expect most of you are thinking: "No Shit" but as Leo points out there are very few shows that got exactly three, normally if you get that far the fourth season is in the bag. So this week we tuck into the poor children who only had one or two years worth of shows before the deadly axe fell.
What we have is a collection of small briefly shining gems, unresolved arcs, curio eggs, the mundane, the muddled and directionless and the justifiably axed for reasons of public good taste. These shows for whatever reason occupy only a small space on the DVD shelf but today they're getting more time than their due as the 80s kids munch their way through these bite sized series.
Also Firefly. Incidental Music by Incompetech.
Wednesday, 26 November 2014
Every so often one becomes aware of a up coming film whose destiny as a much maligned flop seems so obvious that it's stunning it's got a cinema release at all. Surely somewhere in the process someone should have stepped in and said something.
Yet somehow at every single stage, from the initial pitch, to the casting, the choice of director and marketing there has been a dramatic failure in quality control. While it might be impossible to say for sure a film will be a hit until the movie going audience judges it the reverse is not true. Indeed we here at the 80s Kids humbly submit that sometimes the stink of a movie can be so bad we can smell it coming a mile away. Most topically on our minds right now is the up coming 'Fantastic Four' reboot, of which we have heard very little that inspires any kind of 'Wait and see' sense of doubt about the radical re-imagining of Marvel classic comic series.
Every comment and leak seems to add another layer of dread and Leo and to a lesser extent Ian are all to happy to have a good moan about it all. This leads on to a wider discussion of bombs we saw coming in hopes of gleaning some kind of vital formula that we might disclose for the betterment of all mankind. Incidental Music by Incompetech.com
Thursday, 20 November 2014
Well, I won't pretend to be anything other than a wimp ... but I ... Ian ... am a tad unwell. So I'm going to shirk my duties and do a short write up this week. So to be brief: In 2001 Fantasy lands big time and gets much talked about.
Meanwhile the 90s goes through it's dying spasms with a heap of forgettable movies that should never have been made. Oh that was easy. I should be lazy more often! Incidental Music by Incompetech
Friday, 14 November 2014
This description is going to be a bit lax for several reasons. Firstly, to play the sympathy card, Ian has not been well, hence the lateness of this ep. He edited the slippery customer, like a hero, but it's Leo here posting it. Hello.
Secondly, we recorded it together several weeks ago now and my recollection of what actually transpired may be a bit hazy. See, I can't even commit to how well I remember the incident. Shameful. I remember we were, unsurprisingly, talking about fans and how much of an influence they should be allowed to have on a creative project. Should one embrace them, or is that a disastrous move.
Should one, then, ignore them, or is that imprudent? There seem to be no easy answers, which probably explains why we chose it as an episode subject. So down the rabbit hole we go once more as we discover that the whole episode is, in fact, an extended discussion of why it is Leo has recently been working for payment in individual desk-based rotor air-cooling devices... Oh, the embarrassment.
Wednesday, 5 November 2014
At last the 80s Kids land on the shores of the Noughties and set to work the task of reviewing the films of this fresh millennial year. A year that is not so much known for it's genre busting iconic films and more for necessary evolutionary steps.
No one could call the first X Men movie anything other than functional but it puts down another vital stone on the path to our modern cinema. And Pitch Black proves highly successful due to it's Riddick genes of course. But as with all evolution there are dead ends, TITAN AE failed to find its audience and has only faded in time due to its virtue of being a cartoon.
And the old Terminator Arnie is besides himself in clone action thriller "6th Day" making him a very literal 80s fossil. But all in all, and obviously excluding "Battlefield Earth" there really wasn't anything so terrible or offensive about this new start. Other than Leo gushing about Battle Royale of course ... but as a former teacher I suppose he finds some glee in the messy affair.
Incidental Music by incompetech.com
Thursday, 30 October 2014
In horror and Sci Fi of old the trope of the Mad Man ascending to new levels threat with the use of his knowledge was a well established archetype. Be it the white coated scientist with his dangerous theories that set him above nature and God or the Alchemist or dark occultist out to seize forbidden esoteric knowledge. They include fictional luminaries from Victor Frankenstein to Forbidden Planet's Dr Morbius and even Dr Herbert West of the Re-animator. Once they were a staple of story telling, now they are all but extinct in film and cinema.
This week in a ghoulish Halloween episode of the 80s Kids the terrible trio muse of the curious absence of the Evil Master Mind and via the medium of an hour long discussion podcast they attempt to unlock the mystery of their disappearance ... toying with forces they barely understand in the process.
Incidental Music by incompetech.com
Wednesday, 22 October 2014
This week the 80s kids dig perhaps not so deeply into their long memories and summon back into existence their Noughties counter parts as they recount their changing lives and cinema visits during the first decade of the new Millennium. From Ian's cultural high life in Bath to his exile in Victoria Australia. From Justin's struggle to make it as an illustrator and quest to find friends who share his passions to his fateful meeting with Leo. From Leo's job hopping, city moving adventures to settled married life.
The Noughties were a time of a grown up kind of change for our batch of now 20s going on 30s pod-casting heroes. But most importantly they recount their experiences of seeing the films of this period, when they were fresh new and all sparkly and what is was like to actually be there. It's our usual scout head prior to starting a new decade. And along the way lies all that came just before the slice of time we are all living now.
Thursday, 16 October 2014
With our humble show progressing into the 2000s, Leo's thoughts turn to Video Games and the growing blur between what is a 'Cinematic Experience' and what constitutes a 'Game Experience'. In the days of old 'Story' and 'Character' were something of the text heavy RPG variety, be it the Story Rails attached to a turn based combat system or the 'point 'n' click' puzzle game. Then all of a sudden the consoles suddenly got just complex enough that game designers could treat us to lengthy engagingly acted cut scenes that assured us our tough guy with guns was three dimensional beyond his polygon count.
Suddenly games could be immersive and engaging worlds and the player could at last experience something like actually being there. Some games based on film franchises dispensed with retelling an actual film and instead set their stories in 'Officially Licensed' enclaves of their movie universe's canon. Others built their own universes, now followed and wiki'ed with detail orientated enthusiasm by passionate on-line communities.
This week the 80s Trio reflect on the memorable video games they played that crossed the Story - Game divide. From the PS1 classics to the roaring days of the PS2 and Xbox, to the rise and fall of the MMO and to the modern Video Game triple A block busters.
Incidental Music by Incompetech
Wednesday, 8 October 2014
And so the final hour of the 90s has come at last ... But as the sun sets on this much maligned ten year period the 80s kids have one final task to perform, finish their top 5 films of the decade they all claimed to have very little love for. Tricky.
Nevertheless our full quartet of 80s Kids will rise to the challenge: Sue's Number Two choice proves people will do anything these days to get off television and Justin's number two involved a lot of confused children stopping strangers in the street and asking for directions in French.
Ian's number one involves post apocalyptic babysitter getting into a crazy caper and Leo's number one film of the 90s is famous for many things, one of which is spoon denial.
And with that done the Sun rises, FINALLY, on the 21st century and the 90s are now but a memory. This is what we call a happy ending!
Incidental Music by Incompetech.
Thursday, 2 October 2014
As Winston Churchill once said: "This isn't the End, it is not not even the beginning of the End but it is perhaps the end of the frigging 90s!!" Yes it's that magical time again where 80s kids come together and finally fess up what their top 5 fav movies of that particular decade actually are.
This week we deal with numbers 5 to 3! Ian's number five is the charming tale of a small town entrepreneur starting a window cleaning business, Leo's Number Five is about a drawing contest and Justin's Number five was just well drawn.
Leo's number four is just so unreal, Justin's involves lots of bold men in leather, Sue's choice needs batteries much to Ian's annoyance.
Justin's Number three has skimpy outfits all round, Leo's number three has him quite beside himself but maybe that's because Sue's Number three choice has him looking like Death warmed up. Next week ... Number Two and One!
Incidental music by Incompetech.
Thursday, 25 September 2014
The Time has come to review our predictions of the winners and losers of summer 2014 brutal box office film grinder. To this end Leo takes us genre by genre through the various players educating us on the ebb and flow of fortunes.
Some interjection is made by Justin and Ian, who can just about elbow a word in here or there as Leo descends down the results which seem to be both predictable and surprising at the same time. From the unloved "Edge of Tomorrow" to the retro childhood of "Guardians of the Galaxy", the sad fate of "Noah" and the 'boo hiss' winning but still somehow losing fortunes of Big Bay.
Were we wrong about everything? I do wonder why people listen to anything we say sometimes.
Thursday, 18 September 2014
The news of Williams's tragic death shocked the world. He was beloved by millions as both a great comic and serious actor. The people who knew him spoke of a generous warm human being who took much time to be concerned with the welfare of others.
Perhaps that is why the grim knowledge of his depressive last hours seem to cut so deeply. If only he had known that the world was ready to pour out it's affection, love and support for him. And in many ways it's that fact that looms largest in our minds this week as we cast an eye over his vast career.
No one disputes he was a great 'funny man' and yes he could effortlessly draw the audience to sympathize with him in his more sentimental roles but when you take a moment to really stand back and appreciate his body of work, his abilities and the values he strove for it's hard not to feel ashamed of not noticing all this before his death.
Williams was a gifted comic genius and an acclaimed actor who starred in a number of classic films and by all accounts a very decent human being too. It's hard to call his life tragic if that is what he left behind for us. Incidental Music by Incompetech.com
Wednesday, 10 September 2014
And so at last the 80s Kids face this last final servings of the 90s years and boy are they going to party like it's 1999. The calendar period once dubbed "The Year That Changed Cinema" comes for closer examination this week, and while it does gloriously have "The Matrix" ready and waiting to drag us into the new millennium it's not without it's normal convoy of 90s clown car flicks.
From the muddled Schwarzenegger apocalypse action thriller "End of Days" which features the dullest Satan yet conceived in fiction, to the 'nothing happens' shoddy student home movie "Blair Witch Project" whose camcorder yawn-scares still plague films to this day.
Also there was another Pierce Brosnan Bond movie ... we're just not sure which one, they kind of all blur together. And of course, sitting like some kind of 90s end of level boss is the "Phantom Menace". And yet there is good here.
"The Matrix" of course, twisty endy "Fight Club", and 'totally saw it coming' twisty endy "Sixth Sense" (yes we actually liked it), "South Park" turns it's offensiveness up to 11 and "The Mummy" ... yes ... "The Mummy". It was a solidly fun adventure film, so there.
And here we are in the twilight of the 90s ... this week we send that wretched decade down one of Lucas's bottomless shafts with a swirl of our light saber... then all walk slowly away Hollywood style as the 90s explodes behind us.
Thursday, 4 September 2014
You know, I do try and think of something original to say in these blurbs other than ... "Oh look another 90s year and it's a mixed bag offal" but I find myself doing just that yet again. And we had high hopes for 1998 with gems like "The Truman Show" about but then you see the dross and boy does '98 have plenty of that!
A Woeful selection, from disjointed "Lost In Space" movie to the not even trying "Star Trek Insurrection", from missing the point "Godzilla" to the pointless "X Files Movie'. Seriously this decade can't be over with soon enough. At least some fun was had by Leo with "The Avengers" (not those ones), and Justin bizarrely loved "Meet Joe Black."... I'm not sure what Ian gets out of this year... oh that's right ... NOTHING!!
You know what. I'm just over it. I really am... It's blurb time and I can't be bothered. Who reads this anyway? Can our bleak nihilistic journey through the 90s get any worse? Oh... and we get to talk about a Robin Williams movie where people who commit suicide get sent to dark hideous hell where they're emotionally tortured by their twisted inner demons forever in a haze of madness without any hope of escape or relief EVER. Humm .... yeah ... our "What Dreams May Come" discussion feels kind of awkward now.
Well I guess that puts all my 90s moaning into perspective. Incidental Music by Incompetech.com
Friday, 29 August 2014
Although reasons vary for Leo's absence this week the fact remains that Ian and Justin are bereft of their verbose chum and must make do without him. Initially they were both excited by this prospect feeling a quick ten minutes worth of chattering was well within their ability ... then it was pointed out they would also have to fill in all the gaps where Leo would normally have spoken and a serious silence descended over both of them as to how they would fill this hour.
Lacking an original idea they have stolen one and decided a discussion on the subject of "Plagiarism" was a worthwhile idea. It is of course the age old trade of taking someone else successful work or formula and hoping you pass it off as your own for fun and profit. From film to TV, from comics to novels the cheap knock off is a common place thing but Justin opens up instead on the subject of animation where it's not uncommon for ideas to get stolen BEFORE they even hit the cinema.
So sit back and enjoy this cheap shoddy replica of an 80s Kids Podcast, this week very much lacking that official Leo hologram sticker.
Thursday, 21 August 2014
In a show shockingly, not to say "schlockingly", ripped straight from the headlines the 80s kids draw back the veil on a world of explosive action, magnificent martial artistry and death defying parkour when they open up the CV of euro-trash producer par excellence Luc Besson.
The kids are Transported into the murky world of District 13 where the Kiss of the Dragon could be Unleashed. Will they send back a coded message through the Lockdown barrier From Paris With Love regarding The Fifth Element or will they be Taken too soon?
But if you thought that guns, car chases and ridiculous plot twists was all Mssr Besson had to offer then you might be in for a surprise. Gasp along with the Kids when they discover exactly how busy the head of Europa Corp was in 2005, and marvel as he takes the directorial reins whenever he suspects that another director might just stuff up another one of his trademark strong and empowered female characters.
Indeed the 80s kids have a particular set of skills, those being to poke around in the career higlights of one of the hardest working figures of modern cinema. You'll need 100% of your brain capacity to contend with the broad ranging versatility and artistic agenda placed front and center. So grab hold of your multipass and let's hail an insane Taxi ride into a cinematic universe of glorious continental B-Movie madness.
Thursday, 14 August 2014
As with all 90s years this one had it'd share of awful films which for some reason we had to endure. Topping most worst films ever lists is the unloved Batman and Robin, is it REALLY as terrible as people remember? The answer is YES!
But lets not waste time here moaning about bad films again. Face Off, Fifth Element, Contact, Starship Troopers, Austin Powers and the Game were on hand to cheer us up. Also this year was a romantic historical set on a doomed boat. Unfortunately as this films falls beyond our remit of Action, Horror, Sci Fi and Fantasy we don't belabor our coverage of it. Oh no. Definitely not.
Thursday, 7 August 2014
And on goes the tin foil hat and out comes the large cork board with lots of coloured string connecting the tangled web of dots. Yes, it's conspiracy time on the 80s Kids. This week Leo kicks off with a jolly good moan about the unattainable chunks of culture that currently exists. Films and series for which there was no Video or DVD to track down on ebay and upon which much hand wringing can be done at their absence.
It's not that these thing won't make money it's just they won't make as much money as pumping out new or current releases of popular films or television. Then it's on to whine and gnash our teeth about the state of pricey downloads and fickle streaming services which further compound things with their uneven distribution. If one wanted to feel conspiratorial about these things you might conclude the powers that be have no interest in building an audience by allowing them to become au fait with long running cultural media, instead opting for the immediacy of what's hot now and tossing it away like an old toy it when it's no longer fresh.
This seems strangely at odds with Ian's choice of worry topic, that being the impending rush of 'Cinematic Universes' eager to copy Marvel's success. These pretenders being DC comics, Star Wars and Universal Monsters ... and these are just the ones we know are coming. Others are sure to follow. Then again aren't these properties just mining the past to recreate it in a wave of big, brightly colored but ultimately disposable media? It's time to wake up sheeple! The 80s Kids see the truth!!
Thursday, 31 July 2014
And then 'Buffy' happened and somehow TV was just so much more interesting. But why? This week the 80s Trio tackle this and other questions as we delve into what was on the goggle box in the late 90s. Turns out 'Buffy' and 'Angel' aren't in fact all that ground breaking when you take it apart and look at the pieces but the whole hung very well together and it is the show that finally convinced the world that Story arcs could work.
Not that everyone was convinced, with shows like 'Mutant X', 'Voyager' and 'Sliders' still very much clinging to Roddenberry's great end credits reset button, but these are its dying days. Like a building storyline ending in a climax a wave of new shows came thundering in ready to embrace story progress like 'Charmed' or the sleazy and surreal 'Lexx' ... or for that matter the decade stomping 'Stargate'.
The UK also shone brightly as vampire lethal sunlight for the briefest of moments with the dearly missed and almost forgotten 'Ultraviolet', and the same channel that gave us that also gifted as the nerd joy that was Simon Pegg's 'Spaced.' Oh for sure, the late 90s had it's awful piles of crap like 'Andromeda' and the truly turgid 'Millennium' but overall the decade rounds off in interesting shape.
Thursday, 24 July 2014
This week Leo and Ian embark on an exciting and interesting discussion on the nature of 'Hype' and indeed 'Anti Hype'. Well... I say interesting, we found it so... or at least we found our conversation flowed okay. Not too sure about exciting now either, maybe it's best to manage expectations and just say this podcast is about 'Hype' and let everyone form their own opinions.
We of course take aim at our perennial archvillains of Lucas and Bay, both definitely guilty of having really wretchedly awful films that were oversold in the marketing department. Or that's like our opinion anyway. We also give much hand wringing about the ineffectiveness of the vitriol and hate Lucas and Bay garnish on the internet in any way effecting their box office takings.
Really hype is us, all of us, and with our clickbait, ranty review videos and modest podcasts we are just as much a part of this fan propelled wheel as anyone. Still at least Video games are worse when it comes to hype ... or at least that's the message we're trying to sell you. So please, if you must, come join us on our tiny podcast, it won't change your life ... but it's free what did you expect?
Incidental music by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com
Thursday, 17 July 2014
And so the gang arrive at 1996 where the power of 90s mediocrity seems at its height with slew of below par action movies. Like a failing marriage people seem to be putting in the effort and saying all the right things but the magic just isn't there. 'Eraser', 'Independence Day', 'Broken Arrow', 'Dragonheart' and the like just don't seem to have any real shelf life.
In an effort not to get lost in another hour of moaning the 80s Kids try to remember some of the gems up front like 'From Dusk Till Dawn', "Star Trek First Contact', 'The Frighteners' and 'The Craft'... but even here favor isn't universal. Perhaps it's a year to enjoy smaller scale films like 'Trainspotting' or 'Fargo' as these seem to be the more iconic survivors. Oh well. Press on we must! And we take what pleasure we can pointing out the rising sun on the horizon.
It's not that we hate 1996... we just upon reflection we feel indifferent about it. Apologies for the variable sound quality of Ian this week, this is due to technical issues with the recording and wasn't obvious when the show was being taped.
Incidental music by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com
Thursday, 10 July 2014
In some ways it might seem like Patrick Swayze couldn't get a break. He was a versatile actor with a varied CV who never seemed to impinge upon the public consciousness beyond his turns in Dirty Dancing and Ghost. Although, when prompted many people also remember him for Red Dawn, Road House, Point Break and his seemingly idiosyncratic moment in Donnie Darko. But there was so much more to Mr. Swayze than this and the 80s kids are here to tell you all about those Swayze gems you may have missed.
As it happens they have missed many of them too. Justin, at one point, admits to having been puzzled that we should wish to take this extended look at the career of one of Hollywood's B-List actors. Well, much apart from the fact that "the Swayz" was an 80s icon, and we are the 80s Kids the career of the only man who could lend much in the way of credibility to a mullet is a far more textured and interesting thing than many of his contemporaries.
Maybe you weren't a member of the fan club before but by the end of this show we'll guarantee that you won't ever want to leave Patrick in the corner again.
Incidental music by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com
Thursday, 3 July 2014
The Irony meter's little red needle was twitching healthily this week. Bereft of a topic idea we duly broke the glass on the "Emergency Podcast Filler" and out topped 9 minutes of audio cut from Episode 44 along with a note from us in the past saying: "These spoken words have been cut for time and relevance from it's show of origin but that discussion was lively and if at any time in the future we should be at a lose end we should 'PLAY IT' and discuss."
Much to the Irony meter's excitement the offered subject gifted to us to cover our lack of ideas was 'Creativity'. Leo is a writer, we know this from his never ending ambition nay compulsion to perform this task over and over again and his drive to be better at it. Justin is an Artist, a real one who actually illustrates for a living and has done so for companies you've actual heard of. Also Ian who ... erm ... Well ... he can use a word document and doodles on the back of what he prints out.
Regardless we do in fact have a small pool of genuinely creative people who love talking about themselves. So come join us as me muse on being all creative and how it might, maybe, one day, if you're both good and lucky ... turn a small profit. Incidental music by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com
Thursday, 26 June 2014
Our humble podcast focuses primarily on the genre films of our era, that being the Horror, Sci Fi, Action and Fantasy. Descending down ... or is that up? ... through our years the observation was made that the foreign language films often take a year or two until they filtered though to us, making a review of them in their year of origin feel just slightly incongruous.
Thus in the wisdom of Leo THIS podcast has been put aside to to reflect and remember those classics. Unfortunately Justin must be off leaving poor Leo and Sue having to make do with Ian, a man who for various explained reasons has barely seen any subtitled films, and those he did were some time ago now and short of buying "Violent Cop" off Amazon or something he doesn't feel like he has many options for watching them legally. Or at least not easy or inexpensive ones.
So sit back and enjoy as Leo leads us on his remembered journey of encountering those foreign language films while Ian again and again assures him he hasn't seen any of them.
Incidental music by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com
Thursday, 19 June 2014
The year is 1995 ... and it's WAR! Never before has there been a year so divisive and wrought with opinion battle lines. Really it seems like the whole year has been designed to split opinions even after nearly two decades. We start with "Batman Forever" where opinions are at least somewhat united on loathing it, reasons are of course divided as to why but at least everyone is marching in the same general direction.
Bond returns with "Goldeneye" which in our opinion is just about the only Pierce Brosnan 007 that's worth a damn. "Bad Boys" looms into view with it's definitive example of 90s action ... but the long shadow of Michael Bay passes thought it. Oh well .. "Die Hard with a Vengeance" is another oasis of unified opinion. But then comes "Judge Dredd" which Justin, the greatest 2000AD fan in the building, is actually at peace with after the passing years, Leo and Ian are on hand to shake him.
"Johnny Mnemonic" is championed by Leo ... amazingly. Onto "12 Monkeys" which we can all agree is Gilliam's high point .... Leo disagrees. "The Quick & the Dead" proved to be another rare save point for our trio's unity. "Waterworld" is ranked as not that bad not actually a flop by Leo ... "Se7en" however is crucified for it's dumb ending by some. Furious words and insults are exchanged as the team bicker over "Usual Suspect" which Leo still loathes with a burning hatred ... much to the pain of Justin and Ian.
Still at least we can all rally around "Toy Story" and have a group love in on that ... well no .. Justin has harsh words for it. We end with "Hackers" and "Strange Days" which are both rated in turn as 'Terrible' and 'Too Long'. Really that's the year in a nut shell.
Incidental music by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com
Thursday, 12 June 2014
One of our continuing missions here at our humble podcast is keeping an eye on the Summer releases and every so often taking some time to comment upon them. Well, it's been a while since we made our predictions on this years hits and bombs and we've certainly already had a ton of movies to get through so lets pause and reflect on what the Cinema Summer season has been like so far ... what with actual Summer nearly being upon us.
It really does feel like we've had a year's worth already, with its now standard heap of Superhero movies, mythic and historical epics with a dash of comedy and actual science Fiction creeping into view. While this year is thus far an improvement on the disappointment of the last year one can't help feel a slight wave of film fatigue at it all. We still have so much more to power through... is that fair to complain about? Shouldn't we want Hollywood to be giving us exciting reasons to head down the multiplex? And yet in this current movie cluster bomb aren't otherwise decent films getting squeezed?
Regardless. Lets join Leo and Ian as they digest this year in cinema so far! Have Marvel's Powers started to fade or are they still this lumbering caped monster of films today? What about Disney? What about Noah? What about that volcano in Pompeii? Well, grab a nice cuppa and come join us for a good old natter about it all. We promise we won't put the whole Kingdom to sleep.
Thursday, 5 June 2014
Since the dawn of time marketers have been very keen to sort products into various categories from which they can then be successfully advertised to whichever demographic is deemed to purchase them the most. And no greater divide in the free market exists than Men and Women. Apparently two entirely separate life forms with few overlapping interests.
This perverse partition is particularly notable in film, where women are deemed to enjoy romance, cartoons about princesses and 'based on a true story' movies of the week where women learn the hard way that all men are bastards. Men meanwhile enjoy EVERYTHING else film has to offer and really, if a woman enjoys those too it goes to show how broad minded she is in her interests.
This week we debate "Women's Films" and, to show how even handed we are, a full third of our panel is women. We challenge this cruel division of tastes, brought on mostly by male advertising executives failing to figure out why women watch films, and set about blurring the cultural gender front lines.
Instead we learn Sue likes shopping for shoes and Sex in the City ... perhaps undermining EVERYTHING we set out to do ... so Ian bravely admits to liking one or two 'girl' things himself ... for which Leo calls him queer. With everyone suitably embarrassed for challenging social conventions be assured the usual male dominated hetero-normative perspective will reassert itself next week.
Thursday, 29 May 2014
Speaking hypothetically, what WOULD have been a good year to have been a film student? Oh for sure no matter what year you pick you're likely still going to have to endure an awful lot of classes about the history of cinema, with the same required viewing of the flickering screen's established giants, Eisenstein, Lang, Wells, Kubrick, Hitchcock or the beloved Mr M Bay.
And you'll be inculcated, willing or otherwise, into the historical landscape of the collapse of the studio monopoly, the rise of the auteur and new wave this and European cinema that ... but at the the end of the day you still have to toddle off down the contemporary big picture house and see and essay upon films of your day.
With this in mind what WOULD have been a good year to have been a film student? This week our three heroes each throw down their own opinions on just that. Starting with Justin who's choice of year will leave you disenchanted with no clear resolution, except perhaps that the status quo you so rebelled against your youth will be what your lurch back towards in our later years as your dreams of a better tomorrow fade in the light of an unsympathetic reality.
All of this lost innocence might prove to be all the angst and cynicism a Film Student could possibly crave for. Ian meanwhile will have none of this. Armed with his three criteria he has selected the best possible year to have fun mucking about making films with your mates ... a highly enjoyable activity you just can't do once this University thing is over with. Also easily digestible movies who's mechanical workings can be extracted and examined upon by even the poorest student of film ... and for the "Film is art Crowd" Ian's year covers them too.
But then in rocks Leo, last but by no means least, who merely has to read off the menu his year has to offer to whet the appetite of Film fans of any conceivable persuasion. But who's year is the best? Lets listen and find out!
Incidental music by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com
Thursday, 22 May 2014
It's hard not to sum up this '1994' Episode as 'Just another one in the 90s' and saying it with a deep sigh. So to shake things up a little we open with Leo's thesis on the state of comic books in the 90s and the result film offerings we have to enjoy this year, "The Crow" and the "The Mask" are the more well known adaptions, "Time Cop" was a surprising adaptation, "Blankman" was not an adaption of anything other than one man's Nerd-phobia that never should have seen the light of day and "The Fantastic Four" which didn't. Which is a shame we feel.
'Was this a good year to be doing a Media Course with Film studies?' Ian asks, remembering back to that fateful year when he and Leo were doing just that. Oh the sweet memories of arguing over "Mary Shelly's Frankenstein" with a lecturer. And of course "Pulp Fiction" the movie that enchanted film students of the period, much to their current shame.
Sure, we might have bitter words for Tarantino now, but as a film in it self what do we make of it? "Natural Born Killers" was Oliver Stone's bastardized Tarantino script, which induced a bitter headache in Leo. Good times.
Onward we go for our action hit with Schwarzenegger's "True Lies" to the glee of Justin and Stallone's "Specialist" which no one can remember in any detail at all. Then they all hurry past "Speed". Ian beams up to the doomed Enterprise D to give a good telling off to all involved in "Star Trek Generations." "Stargate" And "Leon" were also this year and we note their presence as their long term effects were not felt or appreciated at the time.
Also a glut of 90s turkey is ready for our gang to eat with "Street Fighter" and "Blown away". We round off by musing on "Interview with a Vampire" which apparently is not as good as people thought at the time ... and really that sums up the 90s in a nut shell.
Thursday, 15 May 2014
This week our Trio rummage deep into their old, dog eared copies of the TV Times and cast their minds back to the Genre TV series of the early 90s. For the UK it was a poor offering, having axed Dr Who the BBC deemed it unnecessary to replace it with anything. Red Dwarf seemed the only game in town, that and the cripplingly dire "Crime Traveler" or the misshapen "Bugs". Science fiction seemed to bubble out on anything but actual drama, surviving on game shows like "Interceptor" or "Crystal Maze."
The doctrine was clear, post Star Wars people expected special effects with their Sci Fi and TV couldn't do that, it was American imports like "Star Trek - The Next Generation" or do without. Thankfully Next Gen was prospering quite well, along with "X Files" and any other half way decent Genre show on Sky Satellite channels. For terrestrial viewers they had to make do with the lack lustre also rans like "Sea Quest" or the 'little low budget show that could', "Babylon 5".
The thing is America was also having a hand in special effects lite fantasy shows like "Early Edition" or "Quantum Leap" which frankly made a mockery of the idea Genre TV was too expensive. Anyway ... "New Adventures of Superman", "Hercules" and "Xena" also rolled about being objects of enjoyment for at least some period of their run. But really this is the bit in history that TV makers of the future would refer to as "Before Buffy" and after that everything changed. But that's a story for another time. For the moment it's very much make do and mend.
Thursday, 8 May 2014
The gang are then lost forever as the podcast loops over and over again with "Groundhog Day" which can only mean one thing ... This week our 80s quartet have found themselves in the Dinosaur ridden land of 1993 where they try to stave off cinematic extinction with the films of the year.
The first fossil to be uncovered is the not so faithful adaptation of the popular jumping plumber video game "Super Mario Brothers" although Sue would rather just talk about its soundtrack. On the subject of Dinosaurs we come to Schwarzenegger and Stallone. The gang eagerly take to their seats with magic tickets in hand and get sucked into the land of movies where The Governator takes the piss out of himself to the apparent amusement of few. Meanwhile Sly strikes back with a double whammy of "Demolition Man" and "Cliffhanger" amazingly taking the 'Best Action Hero of the Year' title off Arnie despite his last offering being Terminator 2. Nevertheless be assured Schwarzenegger will be back!
Did you know the "Three Musketeers" was this year? And actually it was quite good fun? Well it was. Maybe you were too busy being wow'd by the CGI of "Jurassic Park" and getting all excited by dinosaurs and the potential of the visual imagery that was yet to come. Little did we realize then how tiresome both would soon become. Meanwhile the rest of Hollywood is hiding from the Raptors in "Tombstone" apparently.
Then our gang go on the Run with a grumbling Harrison Ford in the "Fugitive" which was very exciting at the time but these days who wants to watch it all again? It's enough to drive you into a killer rampage like in "Falling Down". Ian wishes to gush over his award winning Plasticine and it's celebrated wardrobe malfunction and many agree. Justin massages his Tim Burton gland with "Nightmare before Christmas." Leo rounds off with "The Vanishing" where he attempts to discover why this film is so totally forgotten.
The gang are then lost forever as the podcast loops over and over again with "Groundhog Day" which can only mean one thing ...
Incidental Music "Hidden Agenda" by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com 'Super Mario bros' game theme copyright Nintendo and used under fair use.
Thursday, 1 May 2014
Throughout the land people have been wringing their hands and gnashing their teeth about it. Angry letters were written to the editor and questions asked in parliament because of it. Newspapers demanded action and people took to the streets in numbers to protest over it. It was the only things spoken about in bars and over the water coolers. It divided neighbours, broke families, partitioned whole communities and parted the Red Sea!
And no matter your opinion on it we all agree if nothing else it was very controversial!
This week our 80s crew throw caution to the wind and weigh in on the thorny topics of their cinematic era. From Video's controversial beginnings, to the infamy of the Video Nasties, the use of controversy to fill cinema seats in the 90s and beyond into today's post internet fragmented world, where what is offensive depends on the individual more than any kind of collective moral standard.
We would issue a warning about the controversial content of this week's show but we're betting you're so thoroughly desensitized to all things shocking and profane that the lack of drug taking, sex and casual violence in our podcast is likely the most disturbing thing about our show. Still, at least we have our ingrained racism to fall back on if the need requires.
Thursday, 24 April 2014
Yee Gawds! Has it been a year since the 80s Kids began this odyssey? Apparently it has. Oh well any excuse for a party. And the theme of this one is marvellous, wonderful favourite things. And in this week's double length bumper podcast we tackle THREE each.
So let the speculation begin! What are our Number one choices? Sue's first choice involves a prolonged tea break, Justin will gush over the joy of nepotism, Ian's will either kill your or dive you insane and Leo's first favourite thing involves many happy memories reading the Shakespearean obituaries.
Our second batch of much loved things ups the game. Sue's choice is very heavy, Justin is delighted about his gateway drug that left him spoiled for choice, Ian speaks at length about his love for convoluted time travel plots NOT involving Dr Who but rather something else with more bite and Leo proudly unleashes his wheel of fate powered by cogs.
And the Third? Well ... Sue likes playing god with the lives of ordinary people, Justin has famous last words to the puzzlement of many, Ian decides to end it in a bloody shoot out in which all our heroes die and Leo's final choice sends the surviving 80s kids to sleep. Really. What more could you ask for?
Incidental music composed or available from Kevin Macleod's invaluable website incompetech.com
Thursday, 17 April 2014
There can be no clearer symptom of 90s rot that to examine the sad turn the Alien franchise took this year with its bleak, nihilistic descent into death. A further example of a beloved 80s film series going off the boil would be "Batman Returns" although a more appropriate title might have been "Penguin Arrives".
Fortunately the 80s kids are here and more than ready to mete out some well deserved revenge. Lurching out blinking into the moon light comes "Bram Stoker's Dracula", presumably named such to avoid confusion with all the other Dracula films based on the same book. Despite fleeting moments of brilliance the Prince of Darkness staggers disappointingly back to its crypt once again, allowing younger, fresher vampires a stab at the jugular.
They sadly ran headlong into "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and much like how Buffy deals with Vampires this film is badly executed. All the same, this is the year of "Reservoir Dogs", the film that put Quentin Tarantino on our map. Sadly the passing years have not been kind to his once loyal 80s kids fanboys who do little but stand and watch while Sue and Leo give our once loved writer director a real ear full. And not in the Mr Blonde way.
The dark connection between Steven Seagal and Wesley Snipes its mused on but really everyone was far too distracted by Sharon Stone crossing her legs in "Basic Instinct". Then things go a little surreal as David Lynch proves beyond any doubt that Twin Peaks fans have in fact been wasting their time all along. And thus the "Candy Man" was summoned to dispense his usual hook/bee based justice upon the transgressing films of 1992!
Incidental Music "Cool Vibes" by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com
Thursday, 10 April 2014
With Justin freshly rescued from his Tomb the 80s Kids reckon this is fine time time to discuss that most prolific of grave robbers and his exploits on the silver screen. That's right, Indiana Jones! So shake the dust off your hat, throw on your brown leather jackets and act like you really do know how to use a bull whip.
This week is like an out of control Mine cart and it stops for no one. 'Raiders' might belong in a museum but that doesn't stop Justin and Ian stealing it and gushing over it with nostalgia saturated love. Then Leo breaks up the party by informing them he doesn't quite "get it" causing many heads to explode.
The powers of Spielberg and Ford are mused on as well as 'Raiders' rolling boulder-like impact on the films and culture that came afterwards. Then comes 'Temple of Doom' and its many traps made from political correctness gone mad. While Ian might have found it a bit grim its eat your heart out time for Justin.
Then it's off to rescue Dad in 'Last Crusade' where deep and meaningful questions are asked like... should Nazis be funny? You know, with the holocaust and everything. Whatever you might think we all agree it was a fine end to the series.
Only it wasn't... yes... we talk about that other film too.
Once again Lucas proves there is no part of your childhood you can possess, that he cannot take away. "Labeouf, I hate that guy."
Thursday, 3 April 2014
20 years ago the Playstation was a new thing and the 80s Kids suddenly found themselves to be console owners and felt very pleased with themselves about being at the forefront of contemporary popular gaming. The PSX (for this was what it was called back then) was a wonderful unassuming grey box that dispensed 3D polygon entertainment and also played your CDs.
It's dizzying host of games came in charming square boxes that went 'clack' when you thumbed your way through the second hand bin at "Electronic Boutique". The controller was an iconic friendly grey colour and third party peripheries where everywhere. Who didn't own a play station back in the day other than really bitter people who clung on to the Saga Saturns or N64s?
It was a revolution in popular gaming and everyone, everywhere seemed to be having fun and SONY was a magical, wonderful company. This week Leo and Ian look back on those times and games through their rose tinted glasses and gush over the games that sucked time away from doing something productive with themselves in the 90s.
Incidental Music "Basement Floor" is composed by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com "Codec sounds" and "MGS Game over theme" Copywrite Konami and used under fair use.
Thursday, 27 March 2014
You know it's going to be one of those years when even Captain Kirk feels like calling it a day and retiring. Meanwhile on the planet Zeist the natives are restless and children are hallucinating Rik Mayall to the amusement of no one.
Even Peter Pan is a bit rubbish in 1991, having decided he wanted to leave Neverland and grow up to be the none zany version of Robin Williams, actually zany Robin Williams can't even be found in a Terry Gilliam movie. That's 1991 for you.
What else did this year have? LA Story? Naked Lunch? Oh dear … Lets pack it in all and go counter culture, bond with our friends over extreme sports and robbing banks with Keanu Reeves who for his crimes is killed a sent to hell, his only chance to escape is to beat Death a twister. Then the Rapture happens but no one saw it. But all is not lost, flying in to rescue the year is the Rocketeer and teleporting in from the future is a cyborg assassin reprogrammed to be a babysitter much to the joy of all.
Hannibal Lecter arrives to collect his academy award before taking Jodie Foster out for dinner. Don't tell me 1991 not worth fighting for! Because it's true, everything I do, I do it for you.
Friday, 21 March 2014
Fleeing from the modern day tyranny of Michael Bay our three heroes finally arrive in the year 1990 and set about unravelling the mystery of why the 90s sucked so bad when it came to films. And yet the year is heady with the sweet after scent of the 80s with only a vague murmur of the horrors to come later. Could the rumors be true? Is this really the fabled year Nineteen Eighty Ten?
Things start out with Leo, Justin and Ian squeezing into the delorean and driving by the horde of sequels at 88 mph. "Robocop 2", "Predator 2", "Back to the Future 3", "Exorcist 3", etc ... before finally getting their ass to "Total Recall" where our trio gush once more over Schwarzenegger and Verhoeven. Memories restored Leo fondly invokes "Darkman" and the fact half the script is the name 'Julie'. Justin retreats into timeless fairy tale land with the bleak but emotional "Edward Scissorhands", whom is highly praised for not running.
Meanwhile Ian puts on a shell suit and wags his nunchucks excitedly about to the puzzlement of all. Near Death follows with "Flatliners", followed by everyone clambering over the furniture to stay off the ground for a "Tremors" discussion and general strangeness breaks out for "Wild at Heart". But in the end theirs no avoiding "Ghost" ... will the guys bless it as it ascends in a column of light or will they cast it down into the horde of shifting, howling shadows? Listen and find out.
Incidental music "Hit Man" composed by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com
Thursday, 13 March 2014
And so we arrive at the dreaded 90s ... long have the 80s Kids spoken in terror at its coming and lamented its harvest of awful films. But most of all, how can we have a podcast called "Revenge of the 80s Kids" that about an entirely different decade?
Well, it's because our defiant trio lived through those ten years and came through it with the campaign medals firmly nailed on their chests. Time for a flash back episode! It's time for our 80s Kids to grow up leave home and at some point along the way, meet each other.
In the meantime, what's on at the pictures? YES! Our band of 80s heroes this week cast their minds back and try to think of the films they actually went and saw on the BIG Glowing Rectangle during the 90s.
Along the way we hear the story of how Justin traumatized his Mum with a family visit to the pictures, of Ian's supreme failure to see the Count of Monte Cristo and Leo's disgust at a film he calls "One of the seminal texts as to why 90s films were awful".
Incidental Music by Kevin MacLeod of Incompetech.com
Thursday, 6 March 2014
The ever expanding Summer release schedule is that special time of year when studios let loose their best movies. Like chicks pushed from the nest and wrapped in a blanket of warm hope these films are sent off to the glowing arch way of the box office. There they'll be ushered before the great viewing public to do battle for popularity or at very least kill the competition in some kind of bloody and humiliating way.
This arena of duelling films couldn't possibly commence without our favourite three 80s boys placing lots on who'll be the winners in this years Film-off. So come join us in our royal box as we inspect this years fighters. And what a crop we have! The return of Captain America, Spider-man and just about all the X-Men who ever were. The Biblical flood defying alcoholic Noah and no less than two Hercules with a side order of extra Spartans.
Also Rising from the grave like something no longer a trilogy comes another unwanted Transformers movie but the shape changing monster trucks are dwarfed by the long shadow of Godzilla, ready to eat your Planes and Dragons no matter how well you've trained them. But while the bets are being placed on the coming box office melee and who will be the winner it's clear the 80s Kids have a soft spot for Guardians of the Galaxy and a troop of anthropomorphic Monkeys. Will they prevail? Well. We don't know yet. That answer is months away. In the meantime here is an hour of free speculation.
Thursday, 27 February 2014
Did they have to? Well, they did! And it's up to the guys to worry about it all. We are of course talking about the much loved and dismissed Reboot of Robocop. Ian and Leo, having freshly consumed the NEW Robocop, sit down to digest and regurgitate it all, then flannels in hand they try picking over the fetid mess looking for where this meal went wrong.
Really it's hard not to declare "Even trying" and calling it a day but Leo is determined to find the film's silver penny and shining it up for us to think about. Then as if by magic Justin appeared and the discussions moved on to the whole issue of reboots and why they're just bad, except when they're not.
Leo has an epiphany about taking things too seriously, Ian wishes they'd called it "Drone Policeman" instead and Justin is shocked and dismayed we've got to do this all again next year with "The Terminator".
Thursday, 20 February 2014
This week our heroic trio finish off recounting their personal top five films from the 1980's! Having vanquished numbers 5, 4 and 3 last week all that remains is to hunker on down and chew through their remaining top two. Of course the joy of it all is they don't know what each other has picked and so it is entirely possible they've all selected exactly the same films making this a somewhat short blunt episode of general agreement and consensus.
Either that or it's going to be a lengthy debate over up to six films with heated words and ruthless disagreement over each others pithy choices. Well, either way here we are. Cometh the hour cometh the Top Five films of the 1980's from the perspectives of Messrs Justin, Ian and Leo.
What will their last two films be? The Second best films of the 80's: Will Justin's choice be so brilliant we can't even look at it? Will Ian's be a short film? Will Leo's have a showdown at the top of a very tall building? And finally the Number one best film of the 80's: Will Justin's choice make us ask profound questions on the human condition? Will Ian's make us ask 'Who's the Daddy?' and lastly will Leo's final choice have a showdown at the top of a very tall building? Let us find out together!
Thursday, 13 February 2014
This week our Trio finally sit down and begin the lengthy process of confessing what their personal top FIVE movies of the 1980s actually are. They don't know what each other has picked, so not only will this be a journey of discovery but suspense too as it is totally possible they picked the same movies and will have to nervously laugh it off.
So, sit back and enjoy the start of the epic ramble as the 80s Kids lay bare their kinks and quirks. What will the verbose meta spinning Leo pick for his Number 5? Will it require a black board with diagrams to explain?
What about the artistically balanced Justin? Will his Number 4 make your head pop open? And of course the Sci Fi obsessive Ian, will his Number 3 make you want to throw yourself out an airlock? Well. Lets find out!
Incidental music “Monkeys Spinning Monkeys” by Kevin McLeod of incompetech.com
Thursday, 6 February 2014
This week Leo and Ian sit down to have a pleasant chat about Child Murder as the official sport of the state and how grateful they are the rebellion is over. But first some unpleasant business needs sorting out as Ian issues forth a grovelling apology to George Lucas while Leo crows over Quentin Tarantino's latest woes.
With all that out the way our two heroes dive forth into an epic chin wag over Teenlit's latest sensation to strike a pose at the cinema, “The Hunger Games” series. Much musing is done as to why this grim dystopia where young adults die horribly is such a unique hit while so many other pretenders to “Twilight's” legacy have died off.
Much could be made of the series' love triangle but despite much prodding it doesn't seem to be the answer for our two bemused heroes, so the Wife is called into action in the hopes of finding a resolution and she promptly sets about bombing Teenlit's obsession with bad relationships into the ground, probably forever.
Tuesday, 4 February 2014
This is not an actual episode, you'll be getting one of those in two days as normal. This is a little something else 'EXTRA'. We had a comment upon our 1989 show and felt duty bound to respond with our spoken words and manic hand gestures. As it turns out we rambled on rather too much and this was now way too long to include in our next show. So in an effort to respond sooner rather than later we're putting it out as an extra ahead of the podcast it was intended for. Enjoy.