Metasode 3: How We Are Not Critics And What We're Going To Do About It - Part One

Welcome, welcome, friends, and thank you for stopping by.

You find the Kids from the 80s in reflective mood, for, hark, 'tis another Metasode, i.e. not an episode but, rather, a show ABOUT the show. We like to keep our navel gazing compartmentalized away from the main strand. This is so you can skip it if you only came here for the show and not to hear us waffle on about what we're planning or thinking about the show itself.

On this occasion, however, we would urge you ON NO ACCOUNT SKIP THIS EPISODE, or its companion, due out at some point after all the fuss about Europe has died down in Leo's neck of the woods. For, you see, we come to begin contemplating the very nature of the show itself in this two parter.

As we begin we lament the lack of interaction we have with listeners. We opine that maybe our content production focus should change to accomodate a new form of 80s kids content. Nostalgia for the 80s is fine and all, but as we have discovered, it doesn't appear to draw people in. So, we've considered what we might like our audience to be, as we have no idea. In this show we outline our plan for the content for the rest of the year in "vague mode". In part two we will inform you of the menu of delights that will form up the remainder of the content for 2019.

In the meanwhile, why not check out our social media page on facebook, if you haven't already. Interim updates will be coming via that medium for the time being. If you get involved it might even chivvy Leo and Ian into action and get that sweet, sweet content piped to your earholes even sooner.

This episode uses excerpts of Prazdniny (Vacation) by John Bartmann

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/M003HowWeReNotCriticsPartOne/M-003-How-We_re-Not-Critics-Part-One.mp3

Episode 101: Victorian Action Detective and the Fate of the Dinosaurs

It's after midnight at the beardy discussion diner. The 100th party is over, Justin's eaten too much cake and passed out, so out come the weighty philosophical ideas. What's baking Leo's noodle this week is the twin dilemma that lurks between current copyright law and our digital ability to back up everything.

On the one hand it is sad that copyright material that is not cherished and preserved is lost forever, but creative things are lost all the time. Sure, for some reason we all know about Robin Hood the outlaw of Nottingham who robbed from the rich and gave to the poor but what about Melvin Tabard the Cheeky Bandito of Cleethorpes. He robbed from a variety of people, pooled the money and gave it back to them divided equally, also known as the Dutch Deliverer? We've all forgotten him, or I just made him up to illustrate a point.

The unfortunate fact is that since the mid-noughties it has become almost impossible to get rid of a cultural artifact that, at some point, was rendered into digital format. This sounds good in theory but when people en masse prefer to recycle old things in the form of franchises, sequels, prequels and works based on other works how do we ensure that artists continue to create new, far less popular things?

Ironically, copyright and its ridiculous terms has created, in addition to a sort of enforced forgetting, an enforced create something passably new situation. A work may be "heavily influenced" but it is, at least, its own thing.

Does this make copyright an unintentional hero fighting for the cause of novelty? Almost certainly. Is this new idea likely to be popular? Probably not, new things don't gain much traction in this day and age. Good job we have copyright to fence off huge swathes of intellectual property from lazy artists eh? Who's with me! See, that's what I thought. Not a popular idea. But just WAIT for the sequel! Incidental Music by incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/101NostalgiaAinTWhatItUsedToBe/101%20-%20Nostalgia%20ain_t%20what%20it%20used%20to%20be.mp3

Episode 100: The 80s Kids 100th Show LIVEish

Over the many months our humble podcast has operated we have on occasion numbered most (but not all) of our podcasts. The amount of those shows with numbers has now counted unto a definitive positive 100 and with our second anniversary just a mere two pods away it was decided to leap upon this arbitrary base ten number moment of double zero numerical figure happenstance to declare it a combined 100th and Anniversary occasion, what with our one year anniversary falling on episode 50 and all.

So having gotten our motives out the way let me lay out the fun fact we had a jolly good time celebrating the event on Saturday the 4th of April with a live Google hang out. As a matter of archiving that event is now here as an audio only podcast.

Within this tight package you'll see... or rather hear... Leo, Ian and Justin congratulate each other on things podcast related before answering some listener submitted questions, reflecting on the state of the show...

Normally at these mile stones program makers normally speculate that with X number of things gone there's no reason their won't be X number in the future. Sadly we cannot make this boast. And the future of the Revenge of the 80s Kids and what lies beyond it is greatly discussed. Also... clips. So that's nice. Incidental Music by that most enigmatic but oblivious contributor... the vastly talented incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/10080sKidsEpisodeONEHUNDREDLIVEish/100%20-%2080s%20Kids%20Episode%20ONE%20HUNDRED%20LIVEish.mp3

Episode 87: Horribly Cheap

The new year is a great time for putting aside old grudges and starting fresh with all things. So naturally the 80s Kids are going to take this opportunity to have a jolly good moan and bring up old grievances. You know, just generally do their uppermost to earn those grumpy old men points.

The focus of Leo and Ian's withering dissatisfaction with week is the anemic generation of so called Horror movies currently thriving down the local cinema. Back in the glory days of the 80s Horror meant disturbing Monsters and gruesome dismemberment prosthetic effects ... or at least something that was shocking and physiologically scaring to watch. These days it's tedious found footage and cheap jump scares.

Frankly we've had enough and we have an hour's worth of moaning about it. It's not just cheap and lazy, the latest wave of horror is the death of innovation. But with Horror being a relativity successful side industry of cinema this humble podcast is as likely to be taken seriously as that guy from the ending of "The Body Snatchers". Incidental Music by incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/087HorriblyCheap/087%20-%20Horribly%20Cheap.mp3

Episode 76: Resurrection Of The Noughty Children

This week the 80s kids dig perhaps not so deeply into their long memories and summon back into existence their Noughties counter parts as they recount their changing lives and cinema visits during the first decade of the new Millennium. From Ian's cultural high life in Bath to his exile in Victoria Australia. From Justin's struggle to make it as an illustrator and quest to find friends who share his passions to his fateful meeting with Leo. From Leo's job hopping, city moving adventures to settled married life.

The Noughties were a time of a grown up kind of change for our batch of now 20s going on 30s pod-casting heroes. But most importantly they recount their experiences of seeing the films of this period, when they were fresh new and all sparkly and what is was like to actually be there. It's our usual scout head prior to starting a new decade. And along the way lies all that came just before the slice of time we are all living now.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/076ResurrectionOfTheNoughtyChildren/076-Resurrection-of-the-Noughty-Children.mp3

Episode 68: Plagiarism

Although reasons vary for Leo's absence this week the fact remains that Ian and Justin are bereft of their verbose chum and must make do without him. Initially they were both excited by this prospect feeling a quick ten minutes worth of chattering was well within their ability ... then it was pointed out they would also have to fill in all the gaps where Leo would normally have spoken and a serious silence descended over both of them as to how they would fill this hour.

Lacking an original idea they have stolen one and decided a discussion on the subject of "Plagiarism" was a worthwhile idea. It is of course the age old trade of taking someone else successful work or formula and hoping you pass it off as your own for fun and profit. From film to TV, from comics to novels the cheap knock off is a common place thing but Justin opens up instead on the subject of animation where it's not uncommon for ideas to get stolen BEFORE they even hit the cinema.

So sit back and enjoy this cheap shoddy replica of an 80s Kids Podcast, this week very much lacking that official Leo hologram sticker.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/068Plagiarism/068%20-%20Plagiarism.mp3

Episode 65: The Lost Poorly Distributed Universe Conspiracy

And on goes the tin foil hat and out comes the large cork board with lots of coloured string connecting the tangled web of dots. Yes, it's conspiracy time on the 80s Kids. This week Leo kicks off with a jolly good moan about the unattainable chunks of culture that currently exists. Films and series for which there was no Video or DVD to track down on ebay and upon which much hand wringing can be done at their absence.

It's not that these thing won't make money it's just they won't make as much money as pumping out new or current releases of popular films or television. Then it's on to whine and gnash our teeth about the state of pricey downloads and fickle streaming services which further compound things with their uneven distribution. If one wanted to feel conspiratorial about these things you might conclude the powers that be have no interest in building an audience by allowing them to become au fait with long running cultural media, instead opting for the immediacy of what's hot now and tossing it away like an old toy it when it's no longer fresh.

This seems strangely at odds with Ian's choice of worry topic, that being the impending rush of 'Cinematic Universes' eager to copy Marvel's success. These pretenders being DC comics, Star Wars and Universal Monsters ... and these are just the ones we know are coming. Others are sure to follow. Then again aren't these properties just mining the past to recreate it in a wave of big, brightly colored but ultimately disposable media? It's time to wake up sheeple! The 80s Kids see the truth!!

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/065TheLostPoorlyDistributedUniverseConspiracy/065%20-%20The%20Lost%20Poorly%20Distributed%20Universe%20Conspiracy.mp3

Episode 63: Hype

This week Leo and Ian embark on an exciting and interesting discussion on the nature of 'Hype' and indeed 'Anti Hype'. Well... I say interesting, we found it so... or at least we found our conversation flowed okay. Not too sure about exciting now either, maybe it's best to manage expectations and just say this podcast is about 'Hype' and let everyone form their own opinions.

We of course take aim at our perennial archvillains of Lucas and Bay, both definitely guilty of having really wretchedly awful films that were oversold in the marketing department. Or that's like our opinion anyway. We also give much hand wringing about the ineffectiveness of the vitriol and hate Lucas and Bay garnish on the internet in any way effecting their box office takings.

Really hype is us, all of us, and with our clickbait, ranty review videos and modest podcasts we are just as much a part of this fan propelled wheel as anyone. Still at least Video games are worse when it comes to hype ... or at least that's the message we're trying to sell you. So please, if you must, come join us on our tiny podcast, it won't change your life ... but it's free what did you expect?

Incidental music by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/063Hype/063%20-%20Hype.mp3

Episode 60: Creativity

The Irony meter's little red needle was twitching healthily this week. Bereft of a topic idea we duly broke the glass on the "Emergency Podcast Filler" and out topped 9 minutes of audio cut from Episode 44 along with a note from us in the past saying: "These spoken words have been cut for time and relevance from it's show of origin but that discussion was lively and if at any time in the future we should be at a lose end we should 'PLAY IT' and discuss."

Much to the Irony meter's excitement the offered subject gifted to us to cover our lack of ideas was 'Creativity'. Leo is a writer, we know this from his never ending ambition nay compulsion to perform this task over and over again and his drive to be better at it. Justin is an Artist, a real one who actually illustrates for a living and has done so for companies you've actual heard of. Also Ian who ... erm ... Well ... he can use a word document and doodles on the back of what he prints out.

Regardless we do in fact have a small pool of genuinely creative people who love talking about themselves. So come join us as me muse on being all creative and how it might, maybe, one day, if you're both good and lucky ... turn a small profit. Incidental music by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/060Creativity/060%20-%20Creativity.mp3

Episode 57: But It's Not Even Summer Yet

One of our continuing missions here at our humble podcast is keeping an eye on the Summer releases and every so often taking some time to comment upon them. Well, it's been a while since we made our predictions on this years hits and bombs and we've certainly already had a ton of movies to get through so lets pause and reflect on what the Cinema Summer season has been like so far ... what with actual Summer nearly being upon us.

It really does feel like we've had a year's worth already, with its now standard heap of Superhero movies, mythic and historical epics with a dash of comedy and actual science Fiction creeping into view. While this year is thus far an improvement on the disappointment of the last year one can't help feel a slight wave of film fatigue at it all. We still have so much more to power through... is that fair to complain about? Shouldn't we want Hollywood to be giving us exciting reasons to head down the multiplex? And yet in this current movie cluster bomb aren't otherwise decent films getting squeezed?

Regardless. Lets join Leo and Ian as they digest this year in cinema so far! Have Marvel's Powers started to fade or are they still this lumbering caped monster of films today? What about Disney? What about Noah? What about that volcano in Pompeii? Well, grab a nice cuppa and come join us for a good old natter about it all. We promise we won't put the whole Kingdom to sleep.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/057ButItSNotEvenSummerYet/057-but-it_s-not-even-summer-yet.mp3

Episode 56: The Terminator Wears Prada

Since the dawn of time marketers have been very keen to sort products into various categories from which they can then be successfully advertised to whichever demographic is deemed to purchase them the most. And no greater divide in the free market exists than Men and Women. Apparently two entirely separate life forms with few overlapping interests.

This perverse partition is particularly notable in film, where women are deemed to enjoy romance, cartoons about princesses and 'based on a true story' movies of the week where women learn the hard way that all men are bastards. Men meanwhile enjoy EVERYTHING else film has to offer and really, if a woman enjoys those too it goes to show how broad minded she is in her interests.

This week we debate "Women's Films" and, to show how even handed we are, a full third of our panel is women. We challenge this cruel division of tastes, brought on mostly by male advertising executives failing to figure out why women watch films, and set about blurring the cultural gender front lines.

Instead we learn Sue likes shopping for shoes and Sex in the City ... perhaps undermining EVERYTHING we set out to do ... so Ian bravely admits to liking one or two 'girl' things himself ... for which Leo calls him queer. With everyone suitably embarrassed for challenging social conventions be assured the usual male dominated hetero-normative perspective will reassert itself next week.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/056TheTerminatorWearsPrada/056-the-terminator-wears-prada.mp3

Episode 55: What Was The Best Year To Be A Film Student?

Speaking hypothetically, what WOULD have been a good year to have been a film student? Oh for sure no matter what year you pick you're likely still going to have to endure an awful lot of classes about the history of cinema, with the same required viewing of the flickering screen's established giants, Eisenstein, Lang, Wells, Kubrick, Hitchcock or the beloved Mr M Bay.

And you'll be inculcated, willing or otherwise, into the historical landscape of the collapse of the studio monopoly, the rise of the auteur and new wave this and European cinema that ... but at the the end of the day you still have to toddle off down the contemporary big picture house and see and essay upon films of your day.

With this in mind what WOULD have been a good year to have been a film student? This week our three heroes each throw down their own opinions on just that. Starting with Justin who's choice of year will leave you disenchanted with no clear resolution, except perhaps that the status quo you so rebelled against your youth will be what your lurch back towards in our later years as your dreams of a better tomorrow fade in the light of an unsympathetic reality.

All of this lost innocence might prove to be all the angst and cynicism a Film Student could possibly crave for. Ian meanwhile will have none of this. Armed with his three criteria he has selected the best possible year to have fun mucking about making films with your mates ... a highly enjoyable activity you just can't do once this University thing is over with. Also easily digestible movies who's mechanical workings can be extracted and examined upon by even the poorest student of film ... and for the "Film is art Crowd" Ian's year covers them too.

But then in rocks Leo, last but by no means least, who merely has to read off the menu his year has to offer to whet the appetite of Film fans of any conceivable persuasion. But who's year is the best? Lets listen and find out!

Incidental music by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/055WhatWasTheBestYearToBeAFilmStudent/055-what-was-the-best-year-to-be-a-film-student.mp3

Episode 50: The Anniversary Behemoth

Yee Gawds! Has it been a year since the 80s Kids began this odyssey? Apparently it has. Oh well any excuse for a party. And the theme of this one is marvellous, wonderful favourite things. And in this week's double length bumper podcast we tackle THREE each.

So let the speculation begin! What are our Number one choices? Sue's first choice involves a prolonged tea break, Justin will gush over the joy of nepotism, Ian's will either kill your or dive you insane and Leo's first favourite thing involves many happy memories reading the Shakespearean obituaries.

Our second batch of much loved things ups the game. Sue's choice is very heavy, Justin is delighted about his gateway drug that left him spoiled for choice, Ian speaks at length about his love for convoluted time travel plots NOT involving Dr Who but rather something else with more bite and Leo proudly unleashes his wheel of fate powered by cogs.

And the Third? Well ... Sue likes playing god with the lives of ordinary people, Justin has famous last words to the puzzlement of many, Ian decides to end it in a bloody shoot out in which all our heroes die and Leo's final choice sends the surviving 80s kids to sleep. Really. What more could you ask for?

Incidental music composed or available from Kevin Macleod's invaluable website incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/050TheAnniversaryBehemoth/050-the-anniversary-behemoth.mp3

Episode 47: A Trip Down The Playstation Memory Card Solid

20 years ago the Playstation was a new thing and the 80s Kids suddenly found themselves to be console owners and felt very pleased with themselves about being at the forefront of contemporary popular gaming. The PSX (for this was what it was called back then) was a wonderful unassuming grey box that dispensed 3D polygon entertainment and also played your CDs.

It's dizzying host of games came in charming square boxes that went 'clack' when you thumbed your way through the second hand bin at "Electronic Boutique". The controller was an iconic friendly grey colour and third party peripheries where everywhere. Who didn't own a play station back in the day other than really bitter people who clung on to the Saga Saturns or N64s?

It was a revolution in popular gaming and everyone, everywhere seemed to be having fun and SONY was a magical, wonderful company. This week Leo and Ian look back on those times and games through their rose tinted glasses and gush over the games that sucked time away from doing something productive with themselves in the 90s.

Incidental Music "Basement Floor" is composed by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com "Codec sounds" and "MGS Game over theme" Copywrite Konami and used under fair use.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/047ATripDownThePlaystationMemoryCardSolid/047-a-trip-down-the-playstation-memory-card-solid.mp3

Episode 44: Return Of The 90s Bros Rated E For Extreme

And so we arrive at the dreaded 90s ... long have the 80s Kids spoken in terror at its coming and lamented its harvest of awful films. But most of all, how can we have a podcast called "Revenge of the 80s Kids" that about an entirely different decade?

Well, it's because our defiant trio lived through those ten years and came through it with the campaign medals firmly nailed on their chests. Time for a flash back episode! It's time for our 80s Kids to grow up leave home and at some point along the way, meet each other.

In the meantime, what's on at the pictures? YES! Our band of 80s heroes this week cast their minds back and try to think of the films they actually went and saw on the BIG Glowing Rectangle during the 90s.

Along the way we hear the story of how Justin traumatized his Mum with a family visit to the pictures, of Ian's supreme failure to see the Count of Monte Cristo and Leo's disgust at a film he calls "One of the seminal texts as to why 90s films were awful".

Incidental Music by Kevin MacLeod of Incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/044ReturnOfThe90sBros/044-Return_of_the_90s_Bros.mp3