Episode 50: The Anniversary Behemoth

Yee Gawds! Has it been a year since the 80s Kids began this odyssey? Apparently it has. Oh well any excuse for a party. And the theme of this one is marvellous, wonderful favourite things. And in this week's double length bumper podcast we tackle THREE each.

So let the speculation begin! What are our Number one choices? Sue's first choice involves a prolonged tea break, Justin will gush over the joy of nepotism, Ian's will either kill your or dive you insane and Leo's first favourite thing involves many happy memories reading the Shakespearean obituaries.

Our second batch of much loved things ups the game. Sue's choice is very heavy, Justin is delighted about his gateway drug that left him spoiled for choice, Ian speaks at length about his love for convoluted time travel plots NOT involving Dr Who but rather something else with more bite and Leo proudly unleashes his wheel of fate powered by cogs.

And the Third? Well ... Sue likes playing god with the lives of ordinary people, Justin has famous last words to the puzzlement of many, Ian decides to end it in a bloody shoot out in which all our heroes die and Leo's final choice sends the surviving 80s kids to sleep. Really. What more could you ask for?

Incidental music composed or available from Kevin Macleod's invaluable website incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/050TheAnniversaryBehemoth/050-the-anniversary-behemoth.mp3

Episode 49: 1992 - Reservoir Kids

There can be no clearer symptom of 90s rot that to examine the sad turn the Alien franchise took this year with its bleak, nihilistic descent into death. A further example of a beloved 80s film series going off the boil would be "Batman Returns" although a more appropriate title might have been "Penguin Arrives".

Fortunately the 80s kids are here and more than ready to mete out some well deserved revenge. Lurching out blinking into the moon light comes "Bram Stoker's Dracula", presumably named such to avoid confusion with all the other Dracula films based on the same book. Despite fleeting moments of brilliance the Prince of Darkness staggers disappointingly back to its crypt once again, allowing younger, fresher vampires a stab at the jugular.

They sadly ran headlong into "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and much like how Buffy deals with Vampires this film is badly executed. All the same, this is the year of "Reservoir Dogs", the film that put Quentin Tarantino on our map. Sadly the passing years have not been kind to his once loyal 80s kids fanboys who do little but stand and watch while Sue and Leo give our once loved writer director a real ear full. And not in the Mr Blonde way.

The dark connection between Steven Seagal and Wesley Snipes its mused on but really everyone was far too distracted by Sharon Stone crossing her legs in "Basic Instinct". Then things go a little surreal as David Lynch proves beyond any doubt that Twin Peaks fans have in fact been wasting their time all along. And thus the "Candy Man" was summoned to dispense his usual hook/bee based justice upon the transgressing films of 1992!

Incidental Music "Cool Vibes" by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/0491992ReservoirKids/049-1992-reservoir-kids.mp3

Episode 48: Raiders Of The Lost Fridge

With Justin freshly rescued from his Tomb the 80s Kids reckon this is fine time time to discuss that most prolific of grave robbers and his exploits on the silver screen. That's right, Indiana Jones! So shake the dust off your hat, throw on your brown leather jackets and act like you really do know how to use a bull whip.

This week is like an out of control Mine cart and it stops for no one. 'Raiders' might belong in a museum but that doesn't stop Justin and Ian stealing it and gushing over it with nostalgia saturated love. Then Leo breaks up the party by informing them he doesn't quite "get it" causing many heads to explode.

The powers of Spielberg and Ford are mused on as well as 'Raiders' rolling boulder-like impact on the films and culture that came afterwards. Then comes 'Temple of Doom' and its many traps made from political correctness gone mad. While Ian might have found it a bit grim its eat your heart out time for Justin.

Then it's off to rescue Dad in 'Last Crusade' where deep and meaningful questions are asked like... should Nazis be funny? You know, with the holocaust and everything. Whatever you might think we all agree it was a fine end to the series.

Only it wasn't... yes... we talk about that other film too.

Once again Lucas proves there is no part of your childhood you can possess, that he cannot take away. "Labeouf, I hate that guy."

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/048RaidersOfTheLostFridge/048-raiders-of-the-lost-fridge.mp3

Episode 47: A Trip Down The Playstation Memory Card Solid

20 years ago the Playstation was a new thing and the 80s Kids suddenly found themselves to be console owners and felt very pleased with themselves about being at the forefront of contemporary popular gaming. The PSX (for this was what it was called back then) was a wonderful unassuming grey box that dispensed 3D polygon entertainment and also played your CDs.

It's dizzying host of games came in charming square boxes that went 'clack' when you thumbed your way through the second hand bin at "Electronic Boutique". The controller was an iconic friendly grey colour and third party peripheries where everywhere. Who didn't own a play station back in the day other than really bitter people who clung on to the Saga Saturns or N64s?

It was a revolution in popular gaming and everyone, everywhere seemed to be having fun and SONY was a magical, wonderful company. This week Leo and Ian look back on those times and games through their rose tinted glasses and gush over the games that sucked time away from doing something productive with themselves in the 90s.

Incidental Music "Basement Floor" is composed by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com "Codec sounds" and "MGS Game over theme" Copywrite Konami and used under fair use.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/047ATripDownThePlaystationMemoryCardSolid/047-a-trip-down-the-playstation-memory-card-solid.mp3

Episode 46: 1991 - Judgment Day For The Prince Of Thieves

You know it's going to be one of those years when even Captain Kirk feels like calling it a day and retiring. Meanwhile on the planet Zeist the natives are restless and children are hallucinating Rik Mayall to the amusement of no one.

Even Peter Pan is a bit rubbish in 1991, having decided he wanted to leave Neverland and grow up to be the none zany version of Robin Williams, actually zany Robin Williams can't even be found in a Terry Gilliam movie. That's 1991 for you.

What else did this year have? LA Story? Naked Lunch? Oh dear … Lets pack it in all and go counter culture, bond with our friends over extreme sports and robbing banks with Keanu Reeves who for his crimes is killed a sent to hell, his only chance to escape is to beat Death a twister. Then the Rapture happens but no one saw it. But all is not lost, flying in to rescue the year is the Rocketeer and teleporting in from the future is a cyborg assassin reprogrammed to be a babysitter much to the joy of all.

Hannibal Lecter arrives to collect his academy award before taking Jodie Foster out for dinner. Don't tell me 1991 not worth fighting for! Because it's true, everything I do, I do it for you.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/0461991JudgmentDayForThePrinceOfTheives/046-1991-Judgment-Day-for-The-Prince-of-Theives.mp3

Episode 45: 1990 - Nineteen Eighty Ten

Fleeing from the modern day tyranny of Michael Bay our three heroes finally arrive in the year 1990 and set about unravelling the mystery of why the 90s sucked so bad when it came to films. And yet the year is heady with the sweet after scent of the 80s with only a vague murmur of the horrors to come later. Could the rumors be true? Is this really the fabled year Nineteen Eighty Ten?

Things start out with Leo, Justin and Ian squeezing into the delorean and driving by the horde of sequels at 88 mph. "Robocop 2", "Predator 2", "Back to the Future 3", "Exorcist 3", etc ... before finally getting their ass to "Total Recall" where our trio gush once more over Schwarzenegger and Verhoeven. Memories restored Leo fondly invokes "Darkman" and the fact half the script is the name 'Julie'. Justin retreats into timeless fairy tale land with the bleak but emotional "Edward Scissorhands", whom is highly praised for not running.

Meanwhile Ian puts on a shell suit and wags his nunchucks excitedly about to the puzzlement of all. Near Death follows with "Flatliners", followed by everyone clambering over the furniture to stay off the ground for a "Tremors" discussion and general strangeness breaks out for "Wild at Heart". But in the end theirs no avoiding "Ghost" ... will the guys bless it as it ascends in a column of light or will they cast it down into the horde of shifting, howling shadows? Listen and find out.

Incidental music "Hit Man" composed by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/0451990NineteenEightyTen/045-1990-Nineteen-Eighty-Ten.mp3

Episode 44: Return Of The 90s Bros Rated E For Extreme

And so we arrive at the dreaded 90s ... long have the 80s Kids spoken in terror at its coming and lamented its harvest of awful films. But most of all, how can we have a podcast called "Revenge of the 80s Kids" that about an entirely different decade?

Well, it's because our defiant trio lived through those ten years and came through it with the campaign medals firmly nailed on their chests. Time for a flash back episode! It's time for our 80s Kids to grow up leave home and at some point along the way, meet each other.

In the meantime, what's on at the pictures? YES! Our band of 80s heroes this week cast their minds back and try to think of the films they actually went and saw on the BIG Glowing Rectangle during the 90s.

Along the way we hear the story of how Justin traumatized his Mum with a family visit to the pictures, of Ian's supreme failure to see the Count of Monte Cristo and Leo's disgust at a film he calls "One of the seminal texts as to why 90s films were awful".

Incidental Music by Kevin MacLeod of Incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/044ReturnOfThe90sBros/044-Return_of_the_90s_Bros.mp3